I had an appointment with my Immunologist this morning. Last time I saw him, four months ago, I went through allergy testing (for the third, possibly fourth, time), only to find out that I am not allergic to anything. I suspected this, but my Ear, Nose, Throat doc swore I must have allergies. Why else would I get colds so frequently? And polyps in my nose? But allergy testing is pretty subjective. Somebody pokes you with about 20 needles filled with crap you might be allergic too. Then, after a few minutes, he/she comes back to see if any of those injection spots are inflamed. If the spot gets super big then you are allergic. If not, then you aren’t. For me just about every spot got sort of inflamed. But not a lot. So the person doing my testing would always have a puzzled look on their face and say, “Hmm…I think this one might be inflamed. I’ll write that down.” And every single time I’ve had allergy testing done I’m supposedly allergic to different things. And miraculous cured of some other allergies.

So when my Immunologist did the allergy testing he assured me, “We do this hundreds of times a year. If I tell you your not allergic to anything, you are 100% not allergic to anything.” So I trusted him.

But then why I am I sick so frequently?

He suspected my frequent illnesses are caused by a weakened immune system. To test this he drew some blood, gave me the pneumonia vaccine, and told me to have more blood drawn four weeks later. The lab then tests my immuglobulin levels. The theory is that, if you immune system is working properly, your levels will quadruple four weeks after the pneumonia vaccine. My levels weren’t even close. Some barely changed. Some only doubled.

So I have a weakened immune system. What can we do about it?

Well, not much.

My doc told me to start eating more fruits and vegetables. I told him I’m a vegetarian and eat lots of vegetables (although not too many fruits). He checked my Vitamin D levels (which were good) and asked me what I eat in place of meat to make sure I’m getting enough nutrients. I am. He also told me to eat lots of yogurts. I have yogurt every morning for breakfast. So I’m good there too.

He then asked me if I participate in any sports. Have you met me? Sports? Really? That would be a negatory. So he told me to find something I like and start doing it. I need to be more active. But being active is just nearly as fun as sitting on the couch and watching TV. I’m just sayin’.

Then my doc told me I should start carrying hand sanitizer during the winter months when I may come in contact with sick people. Lee busted up laughing. I shot him a dirty look and told my doc, “He’s laughing because I have OCD and don’t like people to touch me.” Hand sanitizer? I already have that in my purse. In my truck. In my desk drawer at work. In my master bathroom. Hallway closet. Downstairs bathroom. I’m set.

Lee said, “She can’t even go shopping by herself because she won’t touch the cart.”

But hello! Didn’t the doctor just PROVE that I’m right to be concerned about shopping alone. Touching the shopping cart could KILL ME! And, no, I’m not being the least bit melodramatic.

So now I’m going to come up with a plan to beat this immune system in to submission. Please excuse me while I consult Dr. Internet to figure out what else I can do to strengthen my immune system. I’m sure WebMD would be more than happy to turn my irrational fears in to full blown panic. My doctor just loves it when I consult the internet for my medical questions. Loves it!