I’m not meaning to offend anyone, especially Lori because I think she is a very sweet person. I was young and thought about it too. I know how it feels, and how shameful you feel having to tell family. I never told my mother, I knew she’d be very upset. I’m glad I didn’t, because I wasn’t pregnant. But if I had been, I know if would have been very very hard.

The comment about pro-lifers killing abortion doctors: This is one of the stupidist things I’ve ever heard of these people doing, beaten out only by those trucks! If you are so against the killing of innocents, why kill these doctors? The laws are letting them do this. You have to get rid of the law to stop it, not kill these people. There will always be more people performing these abortions. The more you kill, the more outraged pro-choice people will be.

I don’t think we need to bring up people being killing in Iraq and such. I don’t think this at all can compare at all to an abortion. Those people in the military are choosing to fight. I feel for anyone who has to lose someone in the war, but they do it to free those people trodden down by Saddam *yes, choosing by joining the military–my husband is Air Force* Those babies aren’t getting to choose anything.

Anyway, I respect all of your opinions here and am glad to see that people on both sides can agree on something as wrong as those pictures on trucks!

Now time for bravery if I’m going to state my real feelings on this…I had an abortion when I was 17 years old so reading this post got real hard for me. Even my good friend’s comment “obviously you killed your fetus”. That is hard for me to hear but I’m not saying I didn’t know that. One some level I did know that. There were things I didn’t know. Like how painful it was. I remember commenting to my mother afterward (we had earlier commented on how loud the music was in the waiting room) that now I knew why they kept that music so loud – so the mother’s won’t hear their daughter’s screaming. I just realized the other day that that is something my mother probably never forgot.

I don’t know if I would say I’m haunted by my abortion but I do think about it A LOT. I am pregnany now and am wanting a little girl so of course I wonder if that baby was my little girl and I gave up on her. I wonder how my life would have been different if I’d kept that baby. My mother forced me into that abortion. I was 17, not yet a senior in high school and the father was a married man. NOT the best of circumstances. She laid a guilt trip on me because my dad was dying at the time and she said didn’t want him to die knowing his daughter got knocked up. She threatened to throw me out and wouldn’t support me at all. So, scared and alone (the married man was still very much with his wife), I went through with it. My dad died 10 days after my abortion. He would have never known. So, yes I wonder how things might have been different but deep down I know having a child in high school would have changed everything about my life. I wouldn’t have met the people I’ve met because I would have been on a different course.

But it changed me. I went on to have a child at 22 – still young. And 6 months later I was pregnant again. The timing was so bad and I was practically devastated. Having gotten upset about it at a friend’s bachlorette party a person said to me I have a choice, I could have an abortion. Abortion was then and forever is no longer an option for me. Knowing what I know now I could never go through it again. I could never give up another child. To deny that child it’s life and my other children their sibling.

I have to live with the fact that once upon a time I did deny a child a life. My child. It was a choice I made and I whole heartedly stand behind a woman’s right to choose. And yes everyone is entitled to their opinion but I certainly do not need those other side of the issue groups defaming my personal trajedy, twisting it into some campaign for the greater good. Only God knows what the greater good is and I don’t care what they believe…I know my baby is with God being taken care of because I just couldn’t. And that doesn’t make me a bad person. Oprah Winfrey repeats this quote from Maya Angelou all the time, “when you know better, you do better”. I didn’t know anything at 17 but I’d like to think that doesn’t negate the life I am leading now at 34 or the afterlife I’ll be given because God is also taking care of me.

Wow – where did all that come from. I guess passion run deep on all sides.

I was so pissed I called my parents to complain. My Dad of all people disagreed with me. He said there is violence, bloody bodies on TV and video games. Although he didn’t actually see the trucks, he told me to look away. DAD! Listen to me, I can block violent shows on my TV. I can restrict my kids from playing video games. I am a responsible parent.

Just one more thing…The abortion issue has become a hot political topic. I understand people have strong views both ways. This country is based on democracy, on freedom of choice. Please continue to express your options either way. But please look at the big picture. Do NOT vote for a presential candidate solely for their view on abortion. What about all the lives we are losing in Iraq? What about the poor starving kids in this country? What about our economy?

Ok,I lied, another thought popped into my head. There is one thing I don’t udnerstand. Why do anti abortion ‘fighters’ feel the need to kill abortion doctors? Isn’t that ending a life as well. It’s not going to stop abortions. I would rather have a licensed doctor perform the proceedure than a woman and a coat hanger.

Stepping off my soap box.

necole