I have officially turned in to an old woman. I’m ready to come out of the closet. I have a subscription to Better Homes and Gardens. You never see one of those magazines laying around a teenagers bedroom or a college dorm. But they have some pretty cool decorating ideas (yes…I am also a HGTV junkie…I love me some decorating shows). They also have some good articles on family issues. And for grown up families. Not just about babies like the parenting magazines. And, no, I am not knocking the parenting magazines. I love those too. I also have a subscription to Parents [which I've had for 10 years now], Parenting [this actually comes in Lee's name...not sure why], Family Fun and Working Mother. Love them!

So in this month’s issue (September 2004) of Better Homes and Gardens there is an awesome article by Debbe Geiger on “the gap year” titled Going For the Gap Year. The Gap Year is the year after you graduate from high school and the year before you go to college. It’s becoming a much bigger trend to take a year off between high school and college. There are even organizations that help a teen find a program (charity, traveling abroad, etc.) for that Gap Year. I think it’s a great idea. Kids get burnt out after 13 years of school. Taking a year off to see the world or help underprivileged families is awesome. And I think these kids will appreciate school more. I know I appreciate school a heck of a lot more now that I am struggling in the real world.

There is also a great story by Jennifer Wagner called When Mom Goes Back To School. I think we all know that absolutely applies to me, but apparently it’s another growing trend. According to Ms. Wagner, “between 1970 and 1993, the number of students 40 and older [so that's older then me, but I'm still a mom in school] increased a whopping 235 percent, according to statistics gathered by the Education Resource Institute.” So all you mommies (is plural mommy, mommies or mommys?) don’t be afraid to go back to school. You will not be alone.

So anyway, I’ve taken a long time to get to my real reason for posting. In this same issue is an article by Kathleen M. Heins titled Protecting Kids From Predators. I think we are all aware of the dangers lurking out there and the sickos that pray on our children, but this article had some ideas I hadn’t really thought of before. And I decided to share them with you. So this is sort of a book report, or a magazine report I guess.

According to Ms. Heins, most abductions occur because predators lure kids in. It used to be with candy or modeling contracts, but now these predators have moved on to new tactics. Apparently all of our “don’t take candy from strangers” talks have worked so predators had to come up with some new ideas.

Now predators will use the “lost pet” trick. We must make sure our children understand that grown ups do not ask children to help them find a lost pet and we need to tell our children, “if an adult asks you to look for a lost pet, you are in danger; get out of there!”

Another lure is asking for assistance. Again, “adults do not ask children for help; they ask other adults.” Children need to know that if an adult approaches in a car they need to run the other way and if an adult knocks on the door they should not answer it. This is one that we are really working on with Skyler & Spencer. They love to answer the door. They often answer the door when Lee and I aren’t even in the room. I’ll come up from the basement and the door will be standing open and Skyler & Spencer will be talking to a salesman. So we are putting a stop to that immediately. We have had quite a few talks with them about this and we will be purchasing a chain that we can place high up on the door.

A lure that I hadn’t even really thought of was authority. “Make sure kids understand that they should never go anywhere with anyone without their parent’s verbal permission — regardless of whether the stranger wears a uniform or shows a badge or ID.” Kids have the right to have a responsible adult present if an adult asks them to go to an office or even the police station. So if the uniformed officer really is an officer he should have a walkie talkie or some way to communicate back to dispatch who will then call the parent. And that officer and your child can stay right where they are until the parent gets there. I have seen this in action, so don’t let a fake officer tell you they cannot call the parents until they get to the police station. Any of us who have seen Mystic River can understand how important this is.

Heins’ article also has some “tips recommended by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children for keeping kids out of danger.” It’s very important to talk to your kids openly and often. Make sure kids know about and understand sex. Of course, you aren’t going to go in to the whole bird and bees speech with a 3 year old, but young children need to understand that their private parts are off-limits and if anybody [other then an adult appropriately helping with a bath or a doctor during a normal exam] touches them in places that make them feel ashamed or uncomfortable they need to tell mommy and daddy right away. And don’t just tell your kids but act out some scenarios so your child fully understands. Knock on the door and see what your preschooler does, or act out “what to do if a stranger pulls up in a car” and so forth. Also let your child know it is against the law for somebody to touch their privates or for an adult to ask a child to touch the adults privates. Let them know a person can and should go to jail for that.

Heins’ also suggests you “create a family phone book.” This “phone book” should include a page for each child. And on these pages you should have the names and telephone numbers (including cell phone numbers if possible) of all of your child’s friends and their parent’s. This gives you “a network of people to call, not only to check to see whether your child is there, but also to start spreading the word in case the worst has happened.

Heins points out that “instead of telling children to beware of all strangers, parents should be helping kids to understand that some strangers can be helpful.” Heins advises we tell our children to go to the nearest mother with children if our child feels threatened, lost or is in need of help. A sales clerk behind a counter is also a good place to seek help. The sales clerk can usually call police if needed.

We, as parents, need to check out everyone. Talk to your friends parents, not just on the phone, but meet them in person. And do a background check on your local court website. Most states have that information for free on the web. Abuse can happen at sleepovers so make sure you know the parents and Heins’ article advises you don’t allow sleepovers until your child is at least ten years old “because you can’t control these situations.” She also warns parents to “be vigilant.” Don’t let children in their primary years walk by themselves to school or a friend’s house to play. Also, don’t let them play in front of your house unattended.

Kenneth Wooden, founder and president of Child Lures Prevention, a sexual abuse and abduction prevention program based in Shelburne, Vermont, says “that when talking to children he equates the evil in the world to the weather. ‘We teach children that for the most part the weather is safe but there are times when it’s dangerous.’ People are like the weather. ‘Most are safe and caring, but we do have some human tornadoes and some are like sneaky thunderstorms that you don’t even see coming.’

Those are the main points I wanted to share with you. Get a copy of the September 2003 Better Homes and Gardens and read Kathleen M. Heins article Protecting Kids From Predators. It’s worth the read. We all need to protect our children!

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 26th, 2004 at 11:31 pm and is filed under Raising Rugrats. Comments are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.