I was so busy last week I didn’t have a chance to watch my daily dose of Oprah. So I had to catch up today. On the 01/20/2005 show, Oprah talked to a single mother of quads, Beth Goodman. Beth was married when she was younger. She and her husband tried to have a baby for many years. They even tried in vitro, but nothing worked. She had many ectopic pregnancies and miscarriages. The turmoil of their baby journey took an enormous toll on their marriage and they eventually divorced.

Beth set a date of her 38th birthday to reevaluate her baby situation. At that time she decided she wanted to give in vitro one more try. She figured if it didn’t work this time then she wasn’t meant to get pregnant.

Her doctor wanted her to implant four eggs, but she choose to only implant three. Although multiple births are more common with IVF, it’s still not extremely common. In fact, according to this website, only 25% of pregnancies with IVF are twins. (In normal population, the rate is one set of twins per 80 births.) Triplets are seen in approximately 2-3% of pregnancies. And many woman end up with no babies, like when Beth first tried in vitro when she was married.

However, things turned out very different this time. Not only did all three eggs develop, but one egg split (meaning identical twins). Terrified, Beth first considered selective reduction, but decided she just couldn’t bring herself to do that. She then considered giving two of the babies up for adoption. She was thinking of giving the identical twins up for adoption because she felt they would be viewed as “more special” or more of a “novelty” and have a better chance of being adopted by a good, loving family.

In the end, Beth decided she was going to keep all four of her children. Many people disagreed with Beth’s decision, including her own family. Her sister said she thought that Beth was “being selfish” by keeping all four children because she couldn’t afford them and there are so many families out there who are looking to adopt. Bill O’Reilly even had something to say (but honestly is there ever a time Bill O’Reilly doesn’t have something to say??), saying that taxpayers will have to take care of this woman’s children.

This show really made me angry and Oprah really pissed me off. I understand that Oprah doesn’t have children and doesn’t want children, but that doesn’t mean that the majority of woman agree. In fact I would say that the majority of woman want to experience motherhood. Many little girls grow up changing their mind about what their profession will be. I went from ballet dancer to vet to who knows what. But being a mother is the goal of almost all little girls. And as we grow in to women, many of us have this uncontrollable desire to have a child. God gave us a uterus and cervix for a reason and it wasn’t just to torture us with bloating, cramps and monthly periods.

After the birth of my twins, Skyler & Spencer, I had three children plus one stepson, but I still had this void in my heart that told me we weren’t done yet. I ached for one more child to make our family complete. And now that we have Caleb I feel like we are complete. Every moment isn’t wonderful, but at the end of the day I am so proud of my large family and joy they bring me and the love we have for one another.

I couldn’t afford all of my children when I got pregnant. I still can’t. But we made sacrifices to make it work. That’s why Lee stays at home now and we don’t drive brand new cars or live in a big spacious house. If you wait until you can afford children you will never have children. They are outrageously expensive. They constantly need your love and attention and money. And if you don’t have it to give, you find it. And as a taxpayer, I don’t mind at all helping Beth out with her children should she need it. I have full faith that she is a responsible woman who will repay her debts (not just monetary debts either). The whole point of welfare is to help out our fellow Americans. To help them get back on their feet and support themselves. With 9/11 and the tsunami tragedy we have shown that, we as a nation, are very giving people. So doesn’t it make sense that we should give to our own people also?

I don’t think anybody, especially Bill O’Reilly, can tell a woman to give up her children. The day that Bill O’Reilly squirts an 8 pound baby out of the pee hole at the end of his penis then we can talk. Until then he needs to keep talking about politics and leave the topics of motherhood, pregnancy and child rearing to us women. Unless you have physically felt that desire to have a child you will never understand that need. Unless you have ever tried for years to conceive a child you will never understand the heartache that infertile couples go through.

Although Beth lacked the financial means to care for her children, she’s not afraid to make sacrifices and ask for help. Not all of us are billionares like Oprah. Some of us have to do without luxuries to take care for our babies. And Beth is willing to do that. She is not a mother who got pregnant by four different men on four different sexual encounters all while on welfare. She is a woman who desperately wanted a child and ended up caring quads. I don’t know her personally, but I am so proud of her decision to stand her ground and not only keep her children, but also caring for them so well. Oprah brought herself out of poverty to run a multi-million dollar company and show up to a daily talk show, but she can’t handle caring for four babies. Beth may not run a mutli-million dollar company, but she sure can care for four babies. She seems to have a schedule worked out and the babies seem well taken care of and very loved. It’s not perfect, raisinging children never is, but she seems to be doing a fantastic job with what God gave her.

I understand there are a lot of people out there who desperately want to adopt children. And my heart aches for them. But what gives us the right to declare a woman selfish for not giving up her children. Beth was desperate for children too. Why is her desperation seen as less of a cause then the desperation of families willing to adopt? We aren’t living in a society that mandates the number of children we can have. But we sure are living in a society where people think they can force their opinions on others.

Visit Beth’s website to learn more or to offer inspiration.