Did you hear that Terry McMillan is getting divorced? If you don’t know who Terry is, she is the author of Waiting to Exhale and How Stella Got Her Groove Back. Apparently she based How Stella Got Her Groove Back on her own life and her love affair with her now current, but soon-to-be-ex husband. She was 43 and he was 20 when she met him in a hotel in Jamaica. Her story inspired many middle-aged women [I know you old 40 year old women are grumpling at me calling you middle aged, but get over it] to travel to Jamaica to find their own man and their own groove.

So anyway, apparently her husband is gay. She believes he tricked her in to marrying her so he could get US citizenship. He claims he did not know he was gay when he married Terry. Now she wants the marriage annulled and he wants the courts to set aside the prenup. And so far she has to pay him $2,000 per month in spousal support and $25,000 to pay his legal fees. He claims she has “treated him with ‘homophobic’ scorn bordering on harassment since he came out to her as gay just before Christmas.” I guess he feels this is why he is entitled to her money now.

HUH? I don’t think so. I don’t understand why this is a difficult decision for the court. They have a prenup. Let’s just throw out the fact that he’s gay. A prenup means you walk away from the marriage with nothing of hers unless it’s outlined in that legally binding contract you signed. I seriously doubt there is a gay man clause in there.

And I’m betting if he’s figured out he’s gay now, he has probably cheated on her. Maybe not. Maybe he’s just looking at naked men on the internet and jacking off to gay pornos, but I’d almost bet he’s had some contact with a man. Just cause it’s with a man doesn’t make it any better than if you cheated with a woman. It’s still cheating on your spouse.

I’m even going to give him the benefit of the doubt and believe him when he says he didn’t know he was gay and really did love Terry in the beginning. But it doesn’t change the fact that he is leaving his marriage now. Even though she filed [in January, but we are just finding out about it now], he’s the one who really ended the marriage. When ya wanna be in bed with a man, your marriage with your wife pretty much ends. It’d have to be a pretty understanding woman to stand by you otherwise. And Terry is a fighter. She aint no “sitting around cooking dinner for, meeting every demand for yer man, yes dear” kinda gal.

And even though he can’t help the fact that he fell out of love with Terry and in love with the men, it doesn’t take away from the fact that he’s hurt her. She’s not just going through the break up of her marriage. But she’s doing it in front of everybody. And not just everybody in your small town, but everybody, all over the world. And it’s not like a typical celebrity divorce. He’s gay. As we say in the 2004 elections, many people in the US still don’t quite “understand the gay people”. [And, yes, my intent was to sound redneck there.] Plus she wrote a damn book about their love and how much it meant to her. She said “It was devastating to discover that a relationship I had publicized to the world as life-affirming and built on mutual love was actually based on deceit. I was humiliated.”

And his argument that he hasn’t gotten any money for the book is ridiculous. She wrote the damn book, bitch. You want money? Write your own damn book. She was rich before she met you. Waiting to Exhale came out before How Stella Got Her Groove Back. As Donna Summers would say “she worked hard for the money.” Plus she gave you money. She moved you out of Jamaica and your job at a hotel [where I'm sure you were making the big bucks...sarcasm, sarcasm, sarcasm] in to a $4 million dollar home. She married your ass. She supported you for 10 fucking years. She put you through school. She’s paid you. And you repaid her by screwing dudes. Does that seem fair?

I’m not seeing where the case to drop the prenup is. Do you? Am I wrong? Is being gay a reason to get out of a contractual agreement? If you don’t like your house can you just sleep with a member of the same sex to get out of it? Shit if that’s the case, I need to rethink my debt situation. Maybe I can get out of some credit card payments.