Sick & Tired of Being Sick & Tired
Have you ever had one of those days where you just don’t want to work? Well I’m having one of those years. I’m about to tread on some very thin ice here. Don’t blog about work. Don’t blog about work. That’s what my brain keeps telling me, but I don’t care. I’m stressed and this is my blog. I’ll do what I want to.
Let me start with what I do. Many of you know where I work, but you don’t exactly know what I do [other than Necole who unfortunately luckily gets to do it too]. I am in presale. Yes, pre- as in before the sale. So sales gets all honkey dorey with the customer and then get them excited about our products and our network and blah, blah, blah. Then sales tells Business Development (BD) about this wonderful new customer [or renewing customer] and all the wonderful products they want. So BD comes up with some rates that work financially. Basically, is it gonna make us any money. Then BD runs it by me with a little can we bill this? question. So I take a look at it and make sure that our billing systems can support this funky pricing. If our billing system can’t then I try to find a solution [one that's hopefully not done manually by a billing analyst]. Once we know the deal will show us the money and we can bill it, then it gets sent to Legal so they can draft a contract with these terms and conditions. Customer signs it and ta-da…they now have some telecommunication services with some very nice rates and/or discounts.
So recently I switched bases. I used to have a ‘commercial’ base and now I have a ‘global’ base. Basically, commercials are a little more cookie cutter and globals are a little more out of the box. According to my boss there is basically no difference between commercials and globals. Yeah, except that globals are apparently a much bigger deal since she [my boss] must be involved in every single deal. The word of the day is “micro-manager.” Say it with me people….miiccrrrrooo maannaaggerrr. This is where the distain for my job comes in.
This is my job. And I think I do it very well. In fact many people would agree with that statement. I’m not trying to brag about it [not that I'm above bragging or anything :)], but I have gotten some very nice notes from co-workers where they expressed their gratitude for my hard work. So from that I believe people think I do a good job.
If I was struggling or people were complaining about my work then I could see where my boss would step in. But I’m not struggling and people are not complaining. So why does she keep edging her way in to my day-to-day projects? Why does she want to have a call to discuss the items requiring presale issue on a deal that is not being escalated? Why does she need to butt in and take over?
A deal came in today. It’s a big deal that has had many exception requests that have gone through management for approval. Prior to me getting this base the old presale POC did her due diligence, got all the approvals she needed and sent the deal on it’s merry way. Well the customer came back with all of their changes [which often happens...cause lawyers like to debate as many terms and conditions as possible]. I haven’t even looked at the deal, and the old presale POC said she would take a look at it and see what needed presales attention. And then my boss comes back and says “Christine, Be sure you only copy internal people…sales, BD, Legal.” Um, ok. Thanks for that. Since I’m not the one even looking at the deal. Did you even read the email from [old presale POC] who said she was going to be looking at it? So I ignored that email.
Then a while later, BD gave their responses and they listed some paragraphs that they believe presale needs to address. Can we support this? Are we ok with the customer’s changes here? And so forth. So then my boss sends me this note that says, “Christine - I’m interested in knowing what are the items are that require presale review. Can you send me an update that we can review tomorrow before you reply? a brief summary/bullets is fine. 10a work for you?” Which…first I’d like to point out is not grammatically correct [one of my big pet peeves and something she often harps on us about] and second, what? I just filed that email in to my [customer] folder, because [old presale POC] said she was going to look at it.
Even if I was going to review the deal myself, it’s my job to review and respond. Since when do I need manager buy off to do my fucking job? If it’s an exception, yes. If I’m not sure how to respond, yes. But, shit, we haven’t even looked at the deal yet and she wants to “review it.” Eat my ass. This coming from a woman who is always “soooo busy” she’s up until 3am working and missing her daughter’s school events because she needs to stay late. Or she’s reading her 400 daily emails or sitting in on her non-stop all day calls.
If you’re worried that I won’t respond “correctly” then why did you give me a fucking global base? If you think I can’t do my job all by myself then why didn’t you cut my ass in the last layoff? Why did you just give me a Peak Performer award two months ago if I’m such a fucking moron I can’t do my job without you holding my hand?
Ok, maybe I’m taking it a little too personally, but this is the shit I deal with daily. In one breath she will tell you you’re doing a great job and then break in to the “but you should do it like this” speech. She gives out these mixed signals. You’re doing a good job. But only because I help you. You’re fabulous at this. But only because I tell you what to do. Pick and choose lady. I’m exhausted trying to read you. And I’m sick and tired of dragging my ass out of bed every morning to come to work to feel like a little kid. I’m a grown ass woman and if you don’t like my work than fire my ass.
