The Great Paying for Grades Debate
I was reading an article on ClubMom regarding giving kids rewards for good grades. I think I’ve mentioned before that we pay Keaton and Justis for good grades. And they owe us for bad grades. An A gets them $10, a B gets them $5, Cs are neutral, they owe us $5 for a D and they owe us $10 for an F. I’m not thrilled to be paying them for grades, but at this point I’m willing to try anything to motivate them to get the best grades they can. So I decided to read the article.
In the article the author, Stacy DeBroff, says:
Bribing your child to do schoolwork by offering money for each good grade translates their effort into getting the extrinsic reward instead of developing a sense of accomplishment and self-confidence in the work itself.
My response to that is “SO?” How is this any different then me going to work for a paycheck? Cause I’ve got to tell you, if they stopped giving me a paycheck I’d stop coming to work. I don’t work for the sense of accomplishment and self-confidence of the work itself. I work for the paycheck. I work for the reward. As much as I wish I worked because I loved it, I don’t. And I don’t think there are a lot of people who do. Even actors and athletes demand big paychecks for their work. That’s part of life.
Heck, I may pay to go to college, but I do it because of the payoff in the end. I expect that with a college degree I can get a better job with more money. Or at least I will have a better bargaining chip when seeking promotions and new positions within my current company.
We are a society of people doing things for something. You may not like it, but it is so.
I do wish my kids enjoyed school. I wish the learning and experience they get from school was all the motiviation they needed. But it’s not. So sometimes rewards are necessary.
I have seen spots on the national news about this too. Some high school gave kids with four years of perfect attendance a new car. Some people were upset by this. I guess they didn’t think giving them a car was a good way to encourage a kid to come to school everyday. I guess these people want the kids to come to school for the sense of accomplishment and self-confidence. I think those people are living in a dream world.
Do you remember school? It sucked. It was eight hours of boring. Other kids picking on you. Tests you thought you were prepared for, but still failed. Teachers teaching you things you were just sure you would never actually use after graduation. [And, honestly, as cool as it was to see the blue dye climb up the celery stalk, I have never actually used that in my day-to-day life. Nor do I remember why the blue dye crept up the celery stalk.] These are not the best years of your life. This is teenager-hood and pimples and mean girls and boys who won’t ask you out even when you beg God every single night.
School is the last place I think I would have ever found self-confidence. Poor body image? Yes. Low self-esteem? Yep, got that in high school too.
I don’t mean to sound so negative about school. Obviously school is a necessary evil. Obviously I want kids to go to school. And obviously I want kids to succeed in school. I absolutely believe in the importance of a good education. If for nothing else, I believe every single person should get a good education so I don’t have stupid people annoying me everywhere I go.
But in all seriousness, I don’t think a few extra bucks hurt anybody. However, I do agree with one thing; if you start paying the bucks and then stop, the motivation may stop too. So if you decide to fork over the dough you need to be prepared to do it forever. This is the risk I’m willing to take to get my kids to put forth a little more effort. Preaching about accomplishments and self-confidence has gotten me nowhere.
