The Bean Blog

32 things I’ve accomplished in 32 years

Jun 12, 2006 It's All About Me

1. I was born. Hey, that counts. Do you know how traumatic is to go from a nice warm womb in to bright lights and cold with strangers looking at you? That’s a heck of an accomplishment. Plus 32 things is a big, long list. Give me a break.

2. I learned to walk. I honestly have no idea how old I was when I accomplished this because my parents were horrible about writing in my baby book. I have my baby book and there are maybe three pages filled out. Thanks mom and dad.

3. I learned to go potty on the toilet like a big girl. Again, honestly no idea when this happened, but I currently go potty on the toilet like a big girl and have for years so I know I accomplished this at some point. [Well there was that one time in fourth grade, but we won't go there.]

4. I survived my parents divorce. I was only five years old at the time. I don’t remember a lot about it, but I do remember my mom telling me she was moving out. I cried through my whole bath. I was devasted.

But my parents did an excellent job of co-parenting. I cannot think of one time they ever fought while I was growing up. They never argued about visitation or child support or anything…as far as I knew. I spent every Christmas Eve with my mom and her family. My dad would come pick me up and sit around for hours as I showed him all of my new stuff and he’d talk to my mom and grandma. They all got along. I loved that.

5. I survived getting a new stepmom [who is now an ex-stepmom]. I remember when my dad told me he was going to ask Linda to marry him. He took me to the park near my grandparent’s house and asked me if I was ok with it. In my little eight-year-old brain I thought he was asking my permission and I felt proud that I had this decision to make for him. After we talked and I agreed that he could marry her he told my grandparents.

Almost twenty years later, they were divorced. I don’t know what the exact problems were that caused their divorce, but I do know that Linda always struggled with being a stepmom. I never felt like a part of my own family after she joined it. She often made me feel like an outsider. But she wasn’t all bad. I do have some fond memories of her….some.

6. I learned to drive. Now this I remember. There is the time I taught myself to drive that I don’t think my parents know about. While my mom was sleeping I got in to her car and read the car’s manual. I’m probably the only person who has ever read a car’s manual. I did have to ask her what the clutch was ’cause I had no clue. Once she told me, I took the car out for a joy ride. I, of course, did not have a driver’s license. I didn’t even have a permit. But I drove around her apartment complex and I drove myself to the grocery store to buy a pack of cigarettes from one of those machines that sold cigarettes. [They don't allow those machines anymore for exactly this reason.] I never could catch on to that smoking thing so I ended up tossing the cigs in the garbage. But for one night I was a wild girl.

Now for my parents, they think my dad taught me how to drive in the parking lot at the local baseball stadium. And I’m just going to stick with that story. [Hi mom and dad ~~waving~~]

7. I traveled to Florida to go on a cruise plus a few days at Disney World. I had a lot of fun on the cruise, except I lost a stuffed animal that was the love of my life. I’m still devasted to this day.

I LOVED Disney World. I especially liked Epcot Center. I bet you didn’t expect that. Epcot Center? That’s when I knew I wanted to travel all over the world.

8. I became a big sister…twice. The first time was in 1987 when I was in the eighth grade. That’s when my brother was born. He’s now 19 and just finished his first year in college to be either a gaming programmer or an astronomer. I know, could those two major be any different.

The second time was in 1991 when I was a junior in high school. That’s when my sister was born. She’s now 15 [just one year older then Justis] and she’s going to be a sophomore in high school next year. She’s also taller then me and her shoes are bigger than mine. Two years ago she gave me a pair of size 10 tennis shoes that no longer fit her anymore. She was 13. And the shoes were a little big on me. Jeez. Kids are getting bigger all the time.

9. I traveled to Cancun, Mexico and returned safely with none of those “don’t drink the water” illnesses. I also met a very cute German boy who kept asking me what time my “flugzeug came in.” Luckily I took German in school. Unfortunately I didn’t listen that well. However, I did know that a flugzeug was an airplane. And I’m just going to leave that story at that because my parents read this blog.

10. I graduated from high school….with honors. This came as a complete surprise to the Associate Principal who caught me skipping second period [often] so my best friend and I could go to breakfast [every day]. The only thing we were missing was TA’ing for teachers and Channel One. I don’t think our education was at all hindered by breakfast every morning. However, skipping all those other classes may have. [Again, hi mom and dad ~~waving~~]

11. I gave birth to Keaton…without drugs. Lee and I had split up. I was on my own. And I was scared. I was barely 20. Just a baby myself. A baby giving birth to a baby. But I had my mom and dad there. And once I saw my baby I knew it was going to be ok.

12. I learned to be a good protector for my children. As I’ve stated in the past, I was an extremely shy child. I was never one to speak up. But then I had a child. At that point I lost my right to be shy. I had to be a protector. And I was never better at it then the time a daycare messed with my baby.

I picked Keaton up one day and the daycare teachers told me he was real sleepy all day. Within an hour I discovered he was favoring his ankle. I took him the ER and found out he had a small fracture in his ankle. I was pissed that the daycare had no clue that his ankle was hurt. I had to assume they weren’t really watching him or even paying attention to the fact that he was favoring his ankle.

Then I made a surprise visit and found Keaton in his classroom while the rest of his one-year-old classmates were all outside. Their excuse was that they didn’t have enough teachers to take all of the kids outside. I was furious. And the shit hit the fan. Keaton left that daycare immediately and never came back.

13. I learned to bond with a child who didn’t come from my loins and I became a good [I hope] stepmom. Growing up as a stepchild myself I decided the day I met Justis that I never wanted him to feel like he was just a vistor in our home. This is his home. I have always been very conscious [obsessed even] with making sure everything is fair for him. His picture is up on the wall. His artwork is [or was when he was younger and made artwork] on the fridge. I know Justis has a mom and isn’t looking for a replacement. I’m just his “bonus mom.” But he’s my kid. I always say I have five kids and I mean it.

14. I got my Associates of Arts degree from the local community college. I originally went to the state university as a microbiology major. I had dreams of being either a genetic engineer or a geriatrician. However, I am so not a math and science person. I don’t know what I was thinking.

After a short stint of partying [which I'm sure my parents were just thrilled about ] I went back to college and got my associates degree in business administration. By that time I was a mommy of one and engaged to be married. It was time to grow up and be responsible.

15. Speaking of being engaged, I married my sweetheart. He wasn’t always my sweetheart. There were some moments I really wasn’t sure we would ever make it down the aisle. For example, when we split up when I was pregnant with Keaton. But, honestly, Lee also grew up and became more responsible. Of course, we fight occassionally, but he is a wonderful partner and a wonderful dad. I’m glad we stuck together and made it work.

16. I sent my baby off to kindergarten…and I didn’t even cry. Well I did cry at kindergarten roundup, but that doesn’t count. If I find the picture of Keaton’s first day of school I’ll post it later. You should have seen the look on his face. He was so not thrilled to be going to school. But once he got there he loved it.

17. I snaged a good paying job with no degree. Granted I was working towards my assocaites degree at the time, but when my boss, Mary, hired me all I had was a high school diploma. She took a chance on me and I’m very thankful for that. Well, most days…

18. I witnessed the birth of my best friends first child. Well, not exactly witnessed, but I was there until she went back to the OR for her c-section and I was there when she came back without her baby who was sent to the NICU. Today Kaitlyn is a rambunctious six [almost seven] year old. I consider it a great honor that I was there the day she was born.

19. I taught myself HTML and Javascript, CSS, and working on PHP. As a geeky creative, designing websites was made for me. I’ve come a long way from the ridiculously long page of text that was my very first webpage.

20. I carried and gave birth to twins….full term. I got sooo big. My back was killing me. I couldn’t sleep on my back. I couldn’t get comfortable on my side. But it was all worth it. I carried my twins to 38w4d and they were the biggest twins the hospital had seen to that point. Skyler was 7 pounds 5 ounces and was 21 inches long. Spencer was 7 pounds 14 ½ ounces and was 20 ½ inches long.

21. I survived postpartum depression….without drugs. Tom Cruise would be so proud. But seriously, I was exhausted. I wasn’t sleeping very well before my twins were born. And while I was in the hospital they woke me hourly to breastfeed. Plus we were a novelty since we had twins so people were in and out of our room all day. All the nurses wanted to see the biggest twins born to date [though there have been bigger ones since]. I was on the edge.

When we got home my milk still hadn’t come in. My babies were losing weight and I had to keep dragging them to the hospital for weighings. They weren’t sleeping well at night [like babies do]. And I was losing my mind.

Then Skyler got colic. OH. MY. GOD. I wouldn’t wish a colicy baby on my worst enemy. It’s pure torture. I had many a breakdown in the bathroom with the door locked and the water running.

Luckily we were able to finally get Skyler on a formula that worked for her. It was expensive, but worth every single penny. I could finally sleep.

22. I had a major organ removed. Ok, so it was just an appendix, but still. I have never been in so much pain. And I’ve given birth to four children. I felt stupid calling in to work because I had a tummy ache. But by early evening I was delirious with pain [because the assholes in the ER didn't give me any pain meds for HOURS]. And by 7pm I was in the OR having my appendix removed. My surgeon told me if they had waited even another hour it probably would have burst.

23. I learned to be a better mother. I was very young when Keaton was born. I turned 21 when he was just ten months old. I still wanted to party and have a good time with my friends. I’m not saying I was neglectful. I took good care of Keaton. But I also had my mom watch him quite a bit so I could go out. I certainly wasn’t putting him before my own needs.

But as I got older and matured I realized that partying isn’t as fun as I thought it was. Who wants to wake up at 7am with a screaming infant when you have a hangover? Not me.

I realized that I actually enjoyed being a mother more than being a wild girl. I wanted to go to the park and attend his programs at daycare. I wanted to buy him cool toys to play with and sit on the floor with him.

I wasn’t a natural at this mothering thing, but I think I’ve come a long way.

24. I gave birth to a fourth child. FOUR CHILDREN. That’s a lot. I grew up pretty much my whole life as an only child. And then I gave birth to four children. Lee has two sisters, but he didn’t grow up with them, so he was pretty much an only child too. And then we went and had four children together. And I couldn’t be happier.

25. I sat by while a plastic surgeon sewed up my babies cleft lip….twice. And I didn’t even cry. Oh, I wanted to cry. The tears were welling up. But I kept my cool. Sitting in the waiting room while your baby is in the OR is the most stressful time I’ve ever had. Every bad thought went through my head. And then when I finally got to see him again he was all swollen and sore and sad looking. It truly broke my heart. But now he has a new smile and he’s doing really well. He’s my hero.

26. I traveling to London. This was the first of my many trips overseas. Well actually it’s my only trip overseas, but I plan to have many more. I loved it. I love London. It is such a cool city. There is so much to do. There are so many people to meet. And they have some of the best parks ever. I highly recommend the trip if you can.

27. I sent my next two babies off to kindergarten. And they were so happy. Well Spencer was a little grumpy that morning. He’s not really a morning person. I have no idea where he gets that from.

They had such a great year in kindergarten. They made new friends. And they learned a ton. I’m so excited for them.

28. I was the Matron of Honor in my best friend’s wedding…twice [but we won't discuss the first time ]. It is so awesome to be there standing beside your friend as she starts the adventure of a whole new lifetime of happy memories.

29. I sat by while an ENT took out my daughters tonsils. And again I did it without crying. But I was on the verge. Especially when I thought it was taking a little too long. I could feel the tears behind my eyes ready to fall on my cheeks.

But Skyler was so brave. The nurse said she was the best patient she’d had all day. That’s my girl. She’s such an inspiration.

30. I have never given up on pursuing a bachelors degree. I’m 32. I’ve been going to college on and off for 15 years. An average [sane] person would just give up. But I set this goal for myself when I was young that I would graduate from college. And an associates degree just isn’t good enough. I want that bachelors degree. And I will continue to pursue it until I get it. Even if it takes me another 15 years.

31. I have been blessed with some of the best friends ever. My best friend, Necole and I have been friends for fifteen years. And I imagine there will be many, many more years of friendship.

Also, in high school, I met some great friends who are still my friends today; Kelley, Camy and Carrie.

Through Lee, I met a wonderful friend who is always there for me, Lori.

Growing up I made a lifelong friend in my friend Laurie. She now lives in Chicago so we don’t get to see much of each other, but we still keep up-to-date as much as we can.

At work I’ve met some really great people, particularly my friend Carolyn [who I once creamed at a wedding....but we'll wait to tell that story in a different post].

There are many more. Don’t think that just because I didn’t call you out means I don’t appreciate you. I appreciate you all. I couldn’t get through each day without all these truly great people in my life.

32. I started this blog. And with this blog I get to let all of my friend and family in on my life. I get to meet strangers who become good friends. I get to spill my guts out instead of locking myself in the bathroom to cry. I’m so glad I made the decision to be a blogger.

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And now for things I hope to accomplish in the next 32 years. [And, no, there are not 32 things. I had enough trouble coming up with 32 things I've already accomplished.]

1. Getting my bachelors degree.

2. Getting published.

3. Sending my baby off to kindergarten.

4. Watching Justis graduate.

5. Actually watching all of the kids graduate.

6. Quiting my job and working for myself.

7. Attending each of the kids’ weddings [and sobbing through the whole thing].

8. Becoming a grandma [but not for at least ten years, twenty for Caleb].

9. Celebrating my 25th wedding anniversary.

10. Traveling all over the world.

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