When Lee and I were young..er we went to the bar for New Year’s Eve. I remember one year we were at a hoppin’ bar [which is now so unhip it briefly closed earlier this year] with a bunch of friends. The place was so crowded it literally took at least 30 minutes to get up to the bar to get a new drink. We started buying three or four beers at a time, just for ourselves, because we were getting thirsty waiting in that line. People were packed on the dance floor and I watched them from my cozy spot of carpet because all of the tables were taken and I refuse to go on a dance floor unless I’m so drunk I can barely stand. Plus you tend to spill your beer if you’re dancing and drinking at the same time.

A few years ago Lee and I decided it was too risky going out for New Year’s Eve. Cops are out in full force. People forget that driving drunk is still illegal even when celebrating the new year. And one person always has to be a designated driver, which essentially means that person has to watch everybody have fun. [But you do get take notes for blackmail situations in the future.]

One of the years we stayed home we drank at home. Lee and I went through a couple of bottles of wine and champagne. And it was just the two of us at home that year. At midnight we [meaning me] drunk dialed every single person we know to wish them a Happy New Year [or a Hassspppeee Nee Yerr! as it sounds when you've had a few too many]. I called people I haven’t talked to in years, but they were unlucky enough to be available via information. I’m sure they’ve changed their numbers and gone unlisted now.

But now that we are old..er, drinking has lost it’s excitement. We still stay up to watch the ball drop in New York and we even stay up until midnight our time to wish each other a Happy New Year, but now we do it at home with a Pepsi and/or lemonade. Yeah, we drink the hard stuff. We’re wiiiillldd and craaaazy.

This year we let the boys throw a New Year’s Eve party. So we have two extra fourteen year olds and three extra twelve year olds. Nothing says bringin’ in the new year right like partying with preteen/teenagers. They’ve been all over the Xbox, the PS2 and the computers. We’ve played a couple of different Scene It? games. I almost had to break up a fight [or two] between the “older” boys and the “younger” boys. [It's amazing how in their world two years makes such a big difference. But the 14-year-olds are in high school and therefore much more mature. Do you see me laughing?] Hopefully they don’t kill each other in the next half hour or Lee and I will have to drink this sparkling cider all by ourselves.

How are you bringing in the new year?

I’ve been playing around with my Graphire tablet every day since I got it for Christmas. I’m trying to figure the whole thing out. I’ve got the mouse down pat, cause it’s…um…a mouse. But the pen is a little trickier. You’d think I know how to work a pen, but getting my hand to coordinate with what I see on my monitor involves a little more hand/eye coordination than I’ve got. [Have I mentioned how bad I suck at video games because of this same problem?]

So my attempts up until yesterday have been signing my name over and over and over again in Illustrator and erasing text with the pen eraser in Word and Excel. Yes, internet, I am on my way to greatness because I can use the eraser on the end of a pencil. Please inform the networks.

So yesterday I decide to be a little more adventurous and actually try to draw something. It’s a sketch I did in the past. This is my attempt to duplicate it on my tablet.

Today I attempted to trace a photograph from a book. Two points [which buy you nothing] if you can guess who this is.

Here’s a hint. It’s a very famous dead actress who I have been obsessed with since I was in high school. If you know me in real life that obviously just gave it away. I mean I had a life size stand up poster of her in my living room for years for crying out loud.

» Continue reading “When I’m famous you’ll be all ‘I remember when…’”

I gave birth to four children, two at a time once. And one time without drugs. I learned how to change diapers and wipe poopy butts without vomiting on my child. I survived the terrible twos [and threes...and fours] five times.

But this whole teenager thing leaves me speechless. *shaking head*

Justis is on a date tonight. Ok, so he says it’s not a date. He says she’s just a friend. But according to the note I read earlier today, she thinks they are more than friends. [Don't look at me like that. Justis left the note on top of the fridge. And I was cleaning the kitchen. If he didn't want me to read it he should have left it in his room. I don't snoop through his room. Notes left in a community area are fair game. Right?]

This morning when Justis asked me if he could go ice skating tonight with a friend, I didn’t realize the friend was a girl. I assumed friend meant a boy. I assumed wrong.

As soon as I found out it was a girl he was going skating with I got a little weepy. I made a mad dash for the bathroom. Not to throw up, but to check my face for wrinkles and my hair for gray. Phew! There were none.

I’m not old enough to have a kid going on dates. I’m still young. I don’t wear grandma pants. [You know those polyester things.] I wear stylish jeans. [But I probably should note that my grandma wears jeans all the time.]

Sigh.

Keaton and Justis have been hanging out at the mall recently. The same mall I used to hang out at when I was their age. Almost twenty years ago. Can you believe that was almost twenty years ago? I can’t. It seems like yesterday.

And now Justis is on a date. A date. I still remember when our biggest problem was trying to get Justis to drink from his sippy cup instead of his bottle. And now he’s on a date.

Excuse while I go crawl in to the fetal position and beg time to slow down.

Thirteen Christmas Carols
Finishing up our month of Christmas themed Thursday Thirteens, see if you can name the 13 Christmas Carols below using the following clues. [And, no, I did not come up with this on my own. I totally stole this. ]

1. Castaneous-Colored Seed Vesicated in a Conflagration
2. Singular Yearning for the Twin-Anterior Incisors
3. Arrival Time: 2400 Hours–Weather: Cloudless
4. Array the Corridor
5. Nocturnal Noiselessness
6. Red Man En Route to Borough
7. Delight for this Planet
8. Give Attention to the Melodious Celestial Beings
9. The Dozen Festive 24-Hour Intervals
10. Our Fervent Hope Is That You Thoroughly Enjoy Your Yuletide Season
11. Parent Was Observed Osculating a Red-Coated Unshaven Teamster
12. Natal Celebration Devoid of Color, Rather Albino, As a Hallucinatory Phenomenon For Me
13. Obese Personification Fabricated of Compressed Mounds of Minute Crystals

» Continue reading “Thursday Thirteen #26: Christmas Carols”