This is why I never leave the house
School registration is upon us. My kids go to school in a district where all of the schools are on the same campus. There are a few elementary schools scattered around, with a middle school and the high school. This makes it easier because I don’t have to run all over town registering kids. I can get it all done in one place at the same time.
Or so I thought.
There was registration yesterday, but it was only for K-8. Today there was registration for all grades. Then tomorrow there is registration just for the high school. Some brainiac at the high school decided having picture day at registration was a good idea. It’s just the high schoolers who have picture day on registration day. The other kids don’t have picture day until some time in September.
When I was in high school we had to go to school to register too. But that was because that was back in the old days before radio and the invention of the wheel. There was no computer registration. We went to school and stood in line for the classes we wanted. If that class was full by the time we made it up to the teacher we either chose a different section or we got in another line with a different teacher for a different class. It typically took all morning. I vaguely remember [you know, 'cause I'm gettin' old] us getting our school pictures taken that day too. But the difference was we didn’t have every single high schooler there that day. The freshman registered on one day, the sophomores on another, and so forth. And I think there was also staggered times based on your last name or something. Who knows. It was a long time ago. But my point is, there was not a line swerving in and out of hallways through the entire high school like the line I stood in [briefly] today. I’m pretty sure if I had stayed in that line today I would still be there waiting to register Justis for the 10th grade when his high school graduation started. That’s how ridiculously long the line was.
The last two years the high school has allowed us to download the necessary forms from the internet so they don’t have to mail them to us. They even let us download a receipt so we can mail in our school fees if we want to. This is a fabulous idea. Because mailing in the forms and payment means I don’t even have to go to the school which would totally eliminate the need to stand in unbelievably long lines where I’m pretty sure I would turn gray and die while waiting. You know, if I could have Lifetouch come to my house and take my kids school picture. However, I’m pretty sure Lifetouch does not want to personally visit every high schooler at their home.
They almost have this process down perfect. The kids register for classes at the end of the previous year. So Justis registered sometimes in May. And they let me download the forms and mail in my payment. So that’s easy enough. All they need to do is move picture day to some other day. Have it during lunch or before and after school or during study hall for crying out loud. Or, I don’t know, during homeroom. Whatever it takes so not all 1200+ students in the high school are there to get their picture taken today between 3pm and 7pm.
If that wasn’t enough, I pulled a total bonehead move.
After we turned the corner only to discover the high school registration line continued on clear to the other end of the school, I said “screw this” and we jumped out of line. I decided we’d go back tomorrow and try again or else Justis would just get his picture taken during picture retakes [and hopefully he'd smile pretty because he wouldn't be allowed a retake].
So we went up to the cashier to pay for the other kids. At this point I’d been in line for like 45 days [which in non-overly-dramatic world was really like half an hour] with about four million other people and it was damn hot. Of course, since I’m a big sweater, I was sweating and cranky. But I put a big fake smile on my face and handed the cashier my paperwork. She started to rifle through it and I reached in to my purse to grab my checkbook so I could hand over $450 to this school who better help my kids get a damn good job at that price.
Only, oops.
There was no checkbook in my purse. At that moment I flashed back to earlier in the day when I was balancing my checkbook and realized I left it laying on my desk. Under my sunglasses. The sunglasses I was sure not to forget as I scrambled out of the house for registration. So I thought, “at least the sun won’t burn my retinas, but I have no money to pay these people.”
I let out a big sigh and told her I’d have to come back because I forgot my checkbook. She said she’s keep my paperwork until I came back tomorrow. That sounded like a good idea because then I won’t lose it. But you know what’s going to happen right? She won’t be there tomorrow and nobody will know where it is and I’ll have to go to all the little stations to re-register the kids again. Do you know how cranky I’ll be tomorrow if I have to go through all this again? Where’s my Valium?
