I’m having a stressful week. First there was Skyler’s new do, that she cut herself. Then I got some sort of stomach virus yesterday that was really no fun. And today I got in to a screaming match with Justis. Yes I know screaming at your teenager gets you nowhere. But sometimes it’s just so hard to keep being the adult when your teenager is rolling their eyes at you and calling you stupid.
So I’m worn out and already thinking about going to bed. And it’s not even 10:30. That’s really early for me.
But there are only three days of NaBloPoMo left and I refuse to give up now. So I turned to my trusty Parenting magazine for inspiration.
This month’s Mom Debate is “Is it okay for a stay-at-home mom to also have a full-time nanny or use daycare?”
I’m not a stay-at-home mom. My stay-at-home mom experiences were limited to 12 [exhausting] weekly periods after the birth of each of my babies. When Skyler & Spencer were born Keaton was in kindergarten so that worked out nicely…especially since there was two of them and Skyler was colicky. When Caleb was born I kept Skyler & Spencer home with me. I was the breadwinner and didn’t want to spend the daycare expense when I was only getting 66 2/3 of my pay. So in more than thirteen years, I’ve had around 24 weeks of stay-at-home mom experiences. That hardly makes me an expert on the matter.
And yet I still have opinions.
Surprisingly [at least to me] 57% of the 1500 respondents said “Yes, it is okay for a stay-at-home mom to also have a full-time nanny or use daycare.” Really? A full-time nanny?
One respondent said, “I don’t begrudge anyone who has help in the home so they can spend a few hours a week doing something nice for themselves.” And I’m with her. Moms need to take care of themselves or they will never have the energy to take care of their family or their homes. But a few hours a week doesn’t require a full-time nanny. Get a sitter for an hour or two a day to go to yoga or the local coffee shop or just to go shopping on your own without the pitter patter of little feet running like crazy people all over the store. Put the kids in preschool or part-time daycare so you can take care of your needs. But full-time?
Another respondent said “As a mom of two, I have a full-time nanny, and I take advantage of the free time to cook fresh, healthy meals for us.” It takes you 40 hours to cook fresh, healthy meals? What the heck are you making? I would guess, even Rachel Ray doesn’t spend 40 hours a week making fresh, healthy meals. Heck, I make fresh, healthy meals a couple times a week and I have five kids, work full-time outside the home and go to college.
If I worked from home full-time then I would likely hire a full-time nanny. Outside of that I’m not really following why a stay-at-home mom would need a full-time nanny. I thought the point of staying home was to spend time with your children; to be their teacher and their caregiver. If you have a full-time nanny doing that job then what’s your role? Apparently it’s cooking 40 hours worth of fresh, healthy meals. If you are doing that then why can’t the kids help you cook those fresh, healthy meals? Kids, boys and girls alike, love to help out in the kitchen.
I just don’t get it. If you’re one of those 57%, please educate me. [But in a nice, bunnies are cute kind of way because I'm having a stressful week and you don't want to make me cry, do you?]