Being a bad mommy

Apparently I’m neglecting my daughter.

On Wednesday night I had a big assignment due for my programming class (which, btw, if anybody knows C++ and can explain it to me in a dumbed down version I can understand, your help would be appreciated). The assignment was due at 11:59pm. So the second I got home from work I started working on it.

Lee had class so it was just me and the kids. I kept shooing them away with a “Mommy’s doing homework right now. We can [insert whatever the child wanted to do] tomorrow.” But you know that never works.

Skyler had spent the majority of the day writing and practicing her own dance performance. It was a modern dance routine with ribbons attached to her hands and a ring of geometric paper which she danced around. However, I didn’t realize how much time she had spent on it. I gave her my “Mommy’s busy” bit and went back to my homework. She sulked off and I could hear her crying as she made her way up the stairs.

I felt like a total heel. What kind mother am I? I can’t even take a few moments to watch my daughter’s dance performance? A routine she wrote herself. And had praticed ALL DAY.

I got up to go redeem myself and met Caleb on the stairs. He looked up at me and said, “Mom, what did you do to Skyler?” I said, “Why? What do you mean?” He said, “You made her cry.”

Great. If I already wasn’t feeling like a total loser, here was my five-year-old calling me out.

I found Skyler upstairs picking up her geometric paper circle with tears streaming down her face. I wanted to cry.

I said, “Ok.” She looked up at me with the saddest face and said, “What?” I said, “I want to see your dance.”

She got a huge smile on her face. She was giddy. She put her geometric shapes back down, told me where to sit and then did her dance for me. It was a very creative routine. She was different animals in the forest who kept going after the horses (her Webkins). She was a cheetah and an elephant and a snake. It was very entertaining. Quite good for an eight-year-old. She’s going to be a super star when she grows up.

I’m so glad I took the time to stop being such a big pooper and just focus on her. Homework can wait ten minutes. I get so wrapped up in my things sometimes I forget to take a moment for the kids.

For the last two days Skyler has had what I thought was chapped cheeks. Her cheeks were very red. It’s been very cold here and she’s been playing outside in the snow. But last night, as I was putting lotion on her cheeks, she showed me her belly. She had a rash ALL OVER. It was on her tummy, her chest, her arms, her back and her legs. I put her to bed and immediately got on WebMD to diagnose her. It looked like Fifth Disease to me, but I wanted to take her to the doctor to be sure.

This morning she stayed home from school and I made an appointment for her at 9:45am. She was so excited. She said, “Yeah. Mommy/daughter time.”

How sad is that when your daughter is excited about going to the doctor because it’s “mommy/daughter time?” Clearly I need to stop being such a butthead and start spending some quality time with my daughter. I feel a High School Musical Wii marathon coming on this weekend.

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