Being a bad mommy
Apparently I’m neglecting my daughter.
On Wednesday night I had a big assignment due for my programming class (which, btw, if anybody knows C++ and can explain it to me in a dumbed down version I can understand, your help would be appreciated). The assignment was due at 11:59pm. So the second I got home from work I started working on it.
Lee had class so it was just me and the kids. I kept shooing them away with a “Mommy’s doing homework right now. We can [insert whatever the child wanted to do] tomorrow.” But you know that never works.
Skyler had spent the majority of the day writing and practicing her own dance performance. It was a modern dance routine with ribbons attached to her hands and a ring of geometric paper which she danced around. However, I didn’t realize how much time she had spent on it. I gave her my “Mommy’s busy” bit and went back to my homework. She sulked off and I could hear her crying as she made her way up the stairs.
I felt like a total heel. What kind mother am I? I can’t even take a few moments to watch my daughter’s dance performance? A routine she wrote herself. And had praticed ALL DAY.
I got up to go redeem myself and met Caleb on the stairs. He looked up at me and said, “Mom, what did you do to Skyler?” I said, “Why? What do you mean?” He said, “You made her cry.”
Great. If I already wasn’t feeling like a total loser, here was my five-year-old calling me out.
I found Skyler upstairs picking up her geometric paper circle with tears streaming down her face. I wanted to cry.
I said, “Ok.” She looked up at me with the saddest face and said, “What?” I said, “I want to see your dance.”
She got a huge smile on her face. She was giddy. She put her geometric shapes back down, told me where to sit and then did her dance for me. It was a very creative routine. She was different animals in the forest who kept going after the horses (her Webkins). She was a cheetah and an elephant and a snake. It was very entertaining. Quite good for an eight-year-old. She’s going to be a super star when she grows up.
I’m so glad I took the time to stop being such a big pooper and just focus on her. Homework can wait ten minutes. I get so wrapped up in my things sometimes I forget to take a moment for the kids.
For the last two days Skyler has had what I thought was chapped cheeks. Her cheeks were very red. It’s been very cold here and she’s been playing outside in the snow. But last night, as I was putting lotion on her cheeks, she showed me her belly. She had a rash ALL OVER. It was on her tummy, her chest, her arms, her back and her legs. I put her to bed and immediately got on WebMD to diagnose her. It looked like Fifth Disease to me, but I wanted to take her to the doctor to be sure.
This morning she stayed home from school and I made an appointment for her at 9:45am. She was so excited. She said, “Yeah. Mommy/daughter time.”
How sad is that when your daughter is excited about going to the doctor because it’s “mommy/daughter time?” Clearly I need to stop being such a butthead and start spending some quality time with my daughter. I feel a High School Musical Wii marathon coming on this weekend.
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Stephanie Said,
February 22, 2008 @ 3:51 pm
Don’t we all have those moments where we just have too much going on? I’m glad you were able to slow down for just a minute or two and check out her dance. I have to remind myself to pay attention to those moments. Life is SO busy…
So, what was it that made her poor little body all red and splotchy?
Stephanie’s last blog post..That Little Yappin’ Dog
Shannanb aka Mommy Bits Said,
February 22, 2008 @ 8:34 pm
I am with Stephanie. I think (I hope) we all have those moments where we just get wrapped up in things. I find myself also having to STOP and just go do something with the boys. There are lots of things that I can get done, after they are in bed. I just forget that sometimes.
Shannanb aka Mommy Bits’s last blog post..One of those days
clevergirl Said,
February 23, 2008 @ 12:51 am
My husband says that the dumbed down version of C++ is “type into the black box, it will let you know when you type the wrong thing”. I’m sure that isn’t much help, but it’s all he’s giving me…
I get absorbed in my work as well, as does my husband. Sometimes we have to monitor each other to make sure we don’t get TOO absorbed.
clevergirl’s last blog post..HOLY SHIT
zarlyng Said,
February 23, 2008 @ 11:43 am
I just wrote about this, but more from a general parenting perspective, and how it ties into stepmom land. You should check out a post from mormanmommywars. It helped me feel, much, much better
http://www.mormonmommywars.com/?p=1095
zarlyng’s last blog post..mommy confessionals
Lis Garrett Said,
February 23, 2008 @ 4:12 pm
I’m like that with my kids, too, when I have a lot on my mind. There are so many times when I’ve gone to bed and said, “Wow, you really sucked as a parent today.” At least we are able to recognize and rectify, though, so that’s got to count for something.
Lis Garrett’s last blog post..Aces
Lori Said,
February 23, 2008 @ 8:37 pm
We all have those moments where we are so wrapped up in our stuff and what we have put high on the list at that moment. Too many times I find myself telling Jace, “not right now honey, mommy is tired”. Then I feel like a heel. How could I have said no to “mommy, will you color with me” or “mommy will you play with me”. Before long they’ll be too busy for us so how could I possibly turn down an opportunity for one on one time. Atleast we know we aren’t alone and because of that we aren’t as terrible as we feel. We are good parents…we’re just human sometimes.
Lori’s last blog post..“Nice one Mom!”
Sunday Linky Love | The Bean Blog Said,
February 24, 2008 @ 1:14 pm
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