We are in the middle of a tornado warning. So the news has taken over and we are missing Survivor. It’s not good enough to have the warning go across the bottom of the screen. No they like to break in to programming and go over and over how we need to go the basement or hide under a mattress or get off the road or whatever else. We have tornado warnings all. the. time. This is not news.

The weather guy on the local affiliate looks like he’s about twelve-years-old. And he’s quite flustered. He keeps messing up the names of cities. He said “there are strong winds in the weeestern part of the state, moving east.”

Then he went on to explain why he was blabbing all through Survivor (like they always do when they break up for an hour or two of all weather, all the time). He said, “I know you’re missing Survivor or whatever’s on. Is it Survivor? I think it’s Survivor. But at least you are safe in your home.” Lee and I looked at each other and with our expressions said, “Who is this moron on our TV?” Then Lee said, “We can’t watch Survivor, but at least we are survivors in our home.”

And finally he was telling us if we spot a tornado we should call the news studio to report it. He goes, “Call us at 3…wait. What’s our number? What’s the number here at the station?” Then you hear somebody off screen saying the number. He starts to say the number and he can’t remember it. He said, “What is it again?” Then he finally got it and he said, “I almost gave you all my cell number.”

Seriously?!? Is there no interview process for these weatherman jobs?

Then we went to another weather man who is outside. Um. Ok. You just spent 30 minutes telling us to hide in the basement and you’re standing outside in the elements? Makes sense. He started to tell us about how Survivor will be on at 12:55 so we need to set our Devo. Devo?!? Didn’t they have a hit in the 80’s? Whip it. Whip it real good.

While this dude was standing outside he started talking about how it was getting darker outside and it was looking more ominous. But he continued and said, “Or it could just be because it’s that time of night.” You think. Hmm…it’s almost 8pm. It usually gets dark around this time. Heck I know that and I didn’t even go to meteorology school.

Just as the weather guys were talking about how the storm was weakening and the warning would be cancelled shortly, the sirens started going off again. The inside weather man said, “Let’s play stump the weather man” because he truly had no clue why the sirens were going off.

So we went to the outdoor weather man. Indoor was all “Hey outdoor. Do you see a tornado?” Outdoor was all, “Umm…no. That must be the all clear siren.” All clear siren?!? What the hell is an all clear siren. I have lived in this town since I was like nine-years-old. Never once have I heard an “all clear siren.”

I’m pretty sure these weathermen are high. Pot smokers.

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 10th, 2008 at 7:19 pm and is filed under Watching way too much TV. Comments are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.