I’m not totally against spanking. I think it has a time and a place. I have certainly given each of my kids a little swat on the tush at one time or another. But we hardly ever spank. And, honestly, I can’t remember the last time I spanked one of the kids. Now Lee….well that’s a different story.

So anyway, I use the full name and counting method. This is a combination of two discipline methods.

The full name was something my parents used when I was a child. When I was doing something wrong (which, like, never happened because I was a perfect angel — do you hear my parents laughing?) they would holler, “Christine Jean Brunsting, get over here right now” or “stop that right now” or whatever was appropriate after the full name. My full name rhymes and I was always totally embarrassed by that so I would stop dead in my tracks and give my parents a dirty look.

The counting method is the “I’m going to count to three and if you aren’t in your bed by the time I’m done you are grounded from the Xbox tomorrow.” Now we don’t even have to say all that. Now we just start counting. It goes a little something like this, “Caleb, turn the TV off and get your shoes on. We need to get going.” He sits there and watches TV and completely ignores me. So then I follow up with a very stern. “Caleb Alec [Last name]. One…Two…” I rarely have to get to three. In fact the kids usually get moving by “one.”

Last night my mom called to see what Caleb wanted for his birthday. I really have no clue what he wants for his birthday so I asked him. He said he wants Iron Man guys. And a big army man guy. And some Star Wars game with two Jedis who end up fighting each other at the end. I said, “Do you want clothes?” He said, “Yeah, I guess.” I said, “Do you want a glow-in-the-dark watch?” He said, “Yeah.”

Then I said, “Do you want six spankings?”

He gave me a quizzical look. “What are spankings,” he asked.

Being the genius I am I explained spankings by using the work spanking. I said, “It’s when I spank your butt.”

For some reason that didn’t make it all clear to him. Go figure. So I told him to come over and I’d show him. I swatted his butt really soft.

He said, “Ok, I’ll have spankings.”

Clearly that discipline method will never work when he’s asking for them for his birthday.

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 10th, 2008 at 12:33 pm and is filed under A day in our life. Comments are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.