The one where I admit I’m totally sexist
I have a dilemma.
Skyler wants to go out for wrestling this year. Wrestling! Where kids roll around on a mat and grope each other. Where kids twist limbs around until they practically snap. Where looney parents yell at small children. Call me sexist, but I’m not at all thrilled with the idea.
But I have other reasons besides just being a sexist asshole who doesn’t think girls should wrestle (at least not my one and only girly-girl).
- Skyler is already busy with dance and gymnastics. She has dance for two hours once a week and gymnastics for another hour once a week. Two nights a week she’s busy with these activities, leaving little extra time for homework and playing and picking on her brothers. Does she really have time for one more activity?
- Skyler’s never really been a “sporty” person. Dance and gymnastics are her thing because they are a little more creative. She’s all about creative. Being part of a competitive team? Not so much. She was in soccer when she was in kindergarten. She played in the fall league and the spring league. And didn’t really care for either one. She cared more about making sure she had pink soccer cleats and being able to wave at family members that were watching her. In other words, she likes to be the center of attention, but not actually going after the ball. And I’m not sure the school will let her wear a pink singlet.
- She gets upset when her brothers play too rough with her. She’s far from a tomboy. She is a girly-girl all the way; wearing dresses, putting on jewelry, worrying about the correct fashion choices. Does that sound like a wrestler to you? I can’t remember Dan Gable ever worrying about whether or not his headband matched his singlet.
So I’m really thinking of putting my foot down and not letting her participate in wrestling. But I’m not really sure how to position it to her. I don’t want to come across as squashing her dreams. But I really don’t think she’ll like wrestling. And I really think she’ll be exhausted after having activities three nights a week after school. But Spencer and Caleb want to go out for wrestling this year and I will likely let them. Which will then bring up the fact that I am totally unfair if I don’t let Skyler go out for wrestling too.
What do you suggest?
I say put your foot down. She sounds like a busy little girl, and I think maybe presenting it to her that she has already made commitments to other after-school activities, and that you aren’t comfortable with her adding more might do the trick. I’d also say that if she is still interested in wrestling next fall, you guys can take a second look at her after-school schedule. How does that sound? (Can you tell I’ve done this? Recently?)
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We went through the same thing recently when my almost 8-year old brought home a flyer about football camp. She swore she really wanted to play football. This coming from the girl who leads a “cheer squad” during recess!! ! ! ! !
We told her we’d think about it, and after a few days, she had decided all on her own that she didn’t think she’d enjoy football.
Maybe with your daughter it’s just a passing phase? Maybe she’ll change her mind?
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Just a heads up … Jake went out for said Wrestling Team and quit. He never quits ANYTHING. First practice, they had them army crawling across the gym, meanwhile coaches were on the ground slapping the floor in front of them yelling, GO GO GO GO!
It’s intense. If she’s not a “sports gal”, this might not be the sport to make her debut into.
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Our daughter decided that she wanted to go out for wrestling 2 years ago (6th grade) and I thought she was trying to make a point at school. That girls could be just as good as boys…I was dead set against it although I didn’t tell her that. She decided not to. Then last year she joined the wrestling team and it was so good for her. I thought she would be teased by the boys, she wasn’t. She learned a lot about controlling her anger, with a contact sport like wrestling that’s really important. She really enjoyed herself, she was good at it and it helped her self-esteem
She learned a lot about herself actually. I could go on and on, she made new friends, blah blah blah, lol. Our son has been in wrestling for 3 years now and girls joining the sport has become more prevalent(sp) each year. So, all in all it was a good experience. BTW, she’s a girly-girl too. She’s very small and petite; they never matched her up with anyone larger than her. OK, I’m done touting the ‘good side’ of wrestling for girls.
Good luck on your decision!
hugs,
Michelle
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Does she really understand what wrestling is all about as a sport?
How about having Lee give Skyler and the boys all a “lesson” on wrestling - the exercises (whatever they might be) and a work out. And, explain to her that she would be doing this sort of thing with strangers and expected to compete and fully participate. Maybe she’ll decide on her own she doesn’t want to go out for wrestling and then you won’t have to force her decsion.
Or maybe she’ll surprise you and she’ll actually like and be a strong competitor?
Mom
If you are really unsure, why don’t you tell her that she has to wait till next year. Then if she still wants to either let her join or tell her she has to drop one of the other activities.
Also make it clear that if she signs up, she has to finish the session or whatever they call it for wrestling.
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