Just say no to sleepovers

As you know Skyler & Spencer recently turned 9-years-old. I was really hoping to get out of the whole birthday party thing. I was hoping they would just be happy with a small party with family at home. We also went out to dinner with my mom, grandma and aunt and uncle. Plus Lee took them bowling. Just him and the three younger kids.

But that wasn’t enough. They wanted a party. With their friends. And not just any party. They wanted a slumber party.

Lee says I have annual amnesia because each year I seem to forget how stressful and exhausting these slumber parties are. I don’t forget. I just procrastinate. It was too late to book the room at the movie theater or plan a pool party at the local community center. So a slumber party seemed like our only option.

After this weekend I’ve decided I’d rather rip off all my toenails while the dentist performs root canal without Novocain and somebody else pokes me in the eye with a rusty fork then have another sleepover at my house.

First there’s the cleaning. I live with five children. Five children who don’t know the first thing about cleaning up after themselves. There’s a lot of “umm…cleaning doesn’t mean throwing everything under your dresser” conversations at my house. And “cleaning means actually using a washcloth when you wipe off the bathroom counter, not just blowing on it” talks. This means cleaning often falls squarely on my shoulders. And, as you know, I have tons of time for cleaning. You know, between work and school and dinner and laundry and running kids all over the city for activities.

Next there’s the shopping. Contrary to popular belief, it is not cheaper (at least not much cheaper) to have a party at home. You still have to fork over cash for soda and juice and chips and popcorn and extra cereal plus cake and ice cream and supplies for whatever activities you have planned.

Then there’s the noise. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on who you ask) only one of Spencer’s four invited friends could come. His best friend had family friends in town. Another boy got sick at school that day (and I so appreciate that his mom kept him home rather then bringing that sick to my house). And we don’t know what happened with the fourth boy, but he never showed up. So Spencer and his friend were pretty quiet. They played video games and watched movies most of the night. Pretty low key. The majority of the noise came from the kids I gave birth to when I told Caleb and Skyler to leave Spencer and his friend alone and go to bed.

But Skyler had four friends over. Four 8-year-old girls. Four very loud 8-year-old girls. Four very loud 8-year-old girls who have entirely too much energy. Right from the second they walked through our front door they were running up and down the stairs chasing after the boys. (Wow this chasing after the boys things starts to early.) Justis was home and they would not leave him alone. One girl was practically pounding down his locked door. I think she had a little bit of a crush. The poor kid had to hide out, locked in his room all night long.

And the running and the screeching? Never! Stopped! All! Night! Long! How do 8- and 9-year-old girls do it? I can’t even stay up all night long. Let alone screaming and running all night long. Heck after an hour of running and screaming I need a cot and a cold compress. Oh who am I kidding? After 15 minutes of activity I’m breathing heavy and ready for a nap. The girls left yesterday at noon and today (a full 15 hours later) I’m still exhausted.

So that’s it. No more slumber parties. Slumber parties are over-rated. Slumber parties are evil.

Now excuse me while I go reserve the indoor pool for their birthday next October.

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