The Bean Blog

Tuesday Tantrum: Or what’s really ticking me off

Nov 18, 2008 In my humble opinion

Between school, work, and the joy that is parenting a teen who outright refuses to do homework and therefore likely will not graduate high school plus dealing with my health issues (fuck you asthma), I’ve been a bit on edge the last couple of weeks. And by on edge I mean ready to rip your fucking head of just for looking at me. Yeah, I’ve been a lot of fun recently.

So for this week’s Tuesday Tantrum let’s discuss all the things that have pissed me off the last few weeks. Just for fun let’s do it in bullet form. Just because there aren’t enough bullets on this blog. And you should always have bullets.

Disclaimer: This post is rated R for exorbitant ranting and profane language. It is not appropriate for children. Remember, I’m opinionated. Therefore I rant.

• Irrational teens. Teens are crazy. Was I this stupid when I was a teen? Cause oh. my. God. Between my own teens and the teens who leave me comments on Weary Parent I’m starting to think that teens are clinically insane. I know their brains don’t fully develop until they are in their twenties, but does that mean they have to be so damn annoying. This is exactly what my parents meant when they warned, “you just wait until you have your own kids.”
• Stupid drivers. The other day on the interstate I turned on my turn signal, looked at my side mirror, gave a quick peek out of the corner of my eye to check the blind spot, and then moved in to the middle lane. I was more than half way in the lane when the psycho in the far left lane just barged in to the middle lane. Almost hitting me. She didn’t use her signal. She didn’t check her mirror. She didn’t turn her head to make sure there was no car in her blind spot. No she just figured, “I want to be in the middle lane and surely anybody who is already there will slam on their breaks and stop.” Bitch!
• People I work with who cannot park. There are two yellow lines giving you a bit of a guideline as to where you should park. Use them. If that means you have to back up and re-park, then by all means back up and re-park. If you park over the yellow line then be advised that I will purposely slam my truck door in to your door. ‘Cause that will give me a tiny bit of joy after having to work up a sweat as I finagle my way in to the very last parking spot that is such a tight fit because your ass needs to go back to driver’s ed.
• People I go to school with who cannot park. I realize most of you are still youngin’s, but even at just 18 you should at least know better then to leave your car’s ass-end hanging out 2 feet past the end of your parking spot. Do you have any idea how hard it is to resist the temptation to slam my truck right in to the back of your little Ford Escort? I mean it’s all out there in the driveway anyway. Surely any judge would give me a little leeway in that situation.
• Irresponsible users of instant messaging. Do not. I repeat. DO NOT IM me with “will you call me?” You’re the one that wants to talk to me. I don’t even want to talk to you. Why the fuck would I call you. You call me bitch.
• Annoying phone conversations. And while we’re on the phone, absolutely. I mean, ABSOLUTELY do not talk my ear off for a half hour telling me all about your daughter and her pregnant friend and then tell me you really need to let me go because you are soooo busy. First of all, I really don’t give two squats of shit about your daughter or her friend. And second, I definitely could not care any less about how fucking busy you are.

Whew! I feel a little better. Now I’m going to go scour the kitchen cabinets for some alcohol and some chocolate. And I don’t even like chocolate.

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Tags: annoying, bad drivers, bad parking, instant message, phone conversations, profane cursing, teenagers, ticking me off