Mother Nature can bite me

We’re 2 weeks in to the new year and I gotta tell ya, this year sucks big time. So far I’m not feeling too good about what the other 50 weeks might bring. Is it because it’s an odd year? You know those odd numbers get me every time.

First it’s been bitterly cold. And actually now that I think about it, it’s because of the bitterly cold that everything else has been spiraling out of control. It’s all Mother Nature’s fault. That bitch.

Thursday we had our Christmas holiday recognition party at work. [You can't call it Christmas or holiday anymore without ruffling some feathers so it's now a "recognition" party...even though we don't recognize anybody. Heck we even had to contribute $5 for pizza and buy our alcohol. Where's the recognition in that?]

The temps were around -20 that day…-45 with the windchill. It was warmer in the South Pole than it was here; that’s how screwed up this weather is. All of the schools were cancelled…except the colleges. So Lee had class in the afternoon. With him going to school and me going to the party, we needed both cars. Lee went out to start the van, to warm it up so he could leave…

And it wouldn’t start. It slowly turned over, but it wouldn’t start. The fuel was frozen (or something. I know nothing about cars.). I said, “Just take the truck. I’ll get a friend from work to pick me up.”

Lee was going to push the van in to the garage to warm it up and drive the truck to school. He started to maneuver the truck out of the garage…and that’s when he realized the 4WD wasn’t working. Seriously?!?

So one car won’t start and the other is pretty much useless in this crappy snow and ice. Nice.

I left Lee behind to deal with the cars and I imbibed in some beverages with my co-workers. Lee eventually got the van started and fixed some cylinoid thing (again, I know nothing about cars) in the truck so all the cars are now fully functional. But that didn’t end the crappy that is 2009.

Late Thursday night/early Friday morning Lee and I were sleeping (because that’s what old fogies like us do at 2am) when I was awoken to honking. WTF?!? I looked out the window to see if I could see the source, but I saw nothing. I looked over at Lee and said, “Do you hear that?” Apparently he didn’t because I scared the shit out of him. He leaped up, “WHAT?!?”

Turns out it was our neighbors car. I don’t know if the cold caused their car alarm to completely spaz or what, but the car continuously honked for THREE FUCKING HOURS. Lee bundled up and knocked on their door. Their dogs went crazy, but nobody ever came to the door. We decided we were going to try to call them, but we weren’t positive what their number was. They’ve called us before so their number was on the caller ID, but we weren’t positive which number it was. And we were worried about waking somebody else up at 3am. I told Lee to call the non-emergency number for the police, but I don’t think he ever did.

So I put a pillow over my head and tried to sleep.

Finally around a quarter to five the horn was starting to give up. Instead of continuous honking it sounded more like a cow being tortured. Then it got muffled. And finally it stopped all together. I took the pillow off my head and I think Lee did a little “praise Jesus.”

I can tell you one person that’s not getting a recognition party. That bitch, Mother Nature.

Related posts:

1. Stranded at Subway My friend
2. My 8am class is trying to kill me Is it just
3. Visiting Grandpa can be expensive In 2001, w
4. The cure for road rage is steaming hot water Like every
5. Skipping school the hard way Today was

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.