Teasing my hair, putting on my leg warmers, and going roller skating

We didn’t have an instructor for our women over 30 hip hop class this weekend. So after class last week we tried to brainstorm some ideas that didn’t involve skipping exercise all together and eating ice cream sandwiches from the comfort of our own couch. One girl, Lindsay, has been wanting to go roller skating for a really long time.

Being over 30 we all grew up in an age where we spent every. single. weekend of our youth at the skating rink. I met my very handsome crush, Matt, at the skating rink. My friend, Cammie and I would rock out to a little You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi and then crank call Matt. Then we’d sigh and come up with baby names for all the babies were going to have with Matt. Although I’m not sure how that was going to happen exactly since polygamy is illegal. But whatever.

Back in junior high I was quite the skater. I zoomed around that floor, forwards and backwards. Sometimes I’d even do a little spinning just to show off (probably for Matt who was a super awesome dreamy skater). But junior high was, um, a few years ago. And let me tell you…skating is not like riding a bike.

As we got closer to the weekend a lot of people were dropping out of our skating trip and it looked like it was just going to be me and Lindsay. So I asked forced my husband to go with me. He said, “Why don’t you see if the kids want to go to?” And since it seemed kind of odd that he and I would go skating and get a sitter (a.k.a. one of the teenagers) to watch the kids, we decided to bring them along too.

Skyler & Spencer have been skating before. They’ve been to a few skating birthday parties. So I thought they would do alright. I was wrong.

Skyler loved it. She clung to the wall the whole 2 hours were were there, but she had a great time doing it.

Spencer and Caleb? Hated it. Not even 30 minutes after we got there Caleb plopped himself down on the floor, untied his skates and ripped them off his feet. He was done. And the look on his face told me this would be the last time he ever lets me talk him in to something as ridiculous as skating ever again.

About 15 minutes later Spencer gave up too.

I said, “What did you do when you came to Kaitlyn’s birthday party?”

“After a while Jakob and I gave up and just played around.”

“Is this going to be a pattern with you? You’re just going to give up when something is hard?”

“Yep”

Clearly we are teaching him well.

Lee, who probably hasn’t been skating in at least 25 years, was a pro. He was flying across the floor doing circles around me. Me? I traveled around the rink at a snail’s pace. I tried to play it off like I was sticking close to Skyler. You know, in case she ever let go of the wall and fell down. But really, every time I tried to speed up a little bit I about fell over. And I was worried I’d end up with another bruise on my rear end like when we went sledding. Black and blue butts are no fun so I decided to take it slow.

Plus, I could push off with my right leg, but every time I pushed off with the left leg I tipped over to the right. At one point I grabbed on to Skyler to steady myself and about took us both down. I don’t know if I’m just uncoordinated and couldn’t handle moving both feet. Or if my skate was screwy. But I’m going to blame the filthy, beat up old skates. I’m pretty sure those are the same skates they had when we were skating back in the 80’s.

Later this week we are going ice skating. <sarcasm>I can’t wait.</sarcasm>

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