You’ve got mail
I listen to XM radio in my car, to and from work (and each time I cart the kids off to dance, gymnastics, and soccer). Usually I’m tuned in to channel 21; KISS XM. (I know. I know. I should probably be listening to something smart like NPR or CNN, but I love me some hip hop.)
So the DJ (Toby I think) usually has some interesting news story to discuss and encourages callers to give their opinion. It’s everything from “have you ever had a gay experience even though your straight” to “what do you think about the wife who’s divorcing her husband because he took their teenage daughter to Hooters to celebrate her getting on the honor roll.” As you can imagine a lot of people have opinions about these topics. It’s almost more entertaining to listen to the callers than it is to lip syncing like an idiot to Lady Gaga.
Today he was talking about some city that is proposing a new solicitation policy. The new policy would require the police department to send a letter to the wives of men who are caught with a prostitute.
There were a lot of opinions; from he’s innocent until proven guilty to hell yes send her a letter. I’m a little torn on the issue.
On one hand, doesn’t a wife have the right to know her husband is bringing somebody else in to their marriage. Shouldn’t she know ASAP so she can get herself tested as soon as possible for whatever disease she may get from her sleazebag husband. Her health…her life could be at risk.
But on the other hand, I hate that government is always trying to work their way in to our business. What business is it of the police department to get in to somebody’s marital issues. It should be up to the husband to confess to his wife. And if he doesn’t, that’s tragic, but that’s his wife’s problem that she’s married to a jackass.
Plus who’s going to pay for this extra service? It’s extra work for the police force. Would it require another headcount? What about the extra paper and postage? Since the majority of wives will likely find out on their own anyway, does it make sense to spend taxpayer money on notices to the house?
But what about the minority of women who will be lied to by their husbands and wont find out? I’m trying to figure out how a husband gets caught with a prostitute and his wife doesn’t know. How does he explain why he didn’t come home the night he spent in jail after his arrest? Who does he call to pay his bail? How does he retain a lawyer without her noticing a few thousand dollars missing from the checking account? What does he tell her about his days in court? Does she not call him at the office at least once during the day? Do you do jail time for paying for a prostitute? Or is that just a fine?
What do you think? Should the police department send out letters?
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Nathan Pralle Said,
March 26, 2009 @ 1:31 pm
I don’t think they should — that’s a pretty bad use of taxpayer money. Are they going to deliver letters when the husband stops for a cold one on the way home from work instead of coming straight home like he told his wife?
The fact is, there’s factors you can’t control and trust has to exist somewhere. If she needs a letter to know he slept with a prostitute, there’s bigger issues at hand, I wager.
Nathan Pralles last blog post..Brave New World
Lori Said,
March 26, 2009 @ 1:38 pm
Aren’t arrests posted in the local paper? Maybe that is just assault and DUI charges. Anyway, if it’s in the paper, either she herself or someone somewhere who knows this woman is going to tell her.
Personally I think it would be frickn hilarious if the sleazy little dirtbag is outed by a letter but yes, probably better things to be done with the city’s resources.
Loris last blog post..Our Day in Pictures (by Mommy & Jace))
Matthew Steinhoff Said,
March 26, 2009 @ 5:17 pm
Typical. No thought is given about all the women visiting prostitutes. No talk of notifying the ’spouse’.
Why should the government be involved in notifying one’s spouse?
Simple: marriage is a government-recognized institution and a contractual obligation.
In exchange for getting tax breaks and other real and meaningful benefits, married couples enter into a relationship with each other and have responsibilities to each other and society. Cheating often leads to divorce and divorce is expensive for the government.
Children with married parents are far less likely to need food stamps or other forms of government assistance. By discouraging infidelity through spousal notification, there may be fewer divorces. That’s good for families and good for government.
Don’t want your significant other notified when you’re paying to shag? Don’t enter a contractual relationship with another person and the government.
(In the state of Florida, accepting a driver’s license means consenting to any roadside sobriety test; you don’t have the right to refuse a breath analysis test. Sounds like an invasion of privacy but you already signed away your rights by accepting a driver’s license. People make trade offs every day in terms of rights. Don’t want to blow in a tube? Don’t get a driver’s license.)
So, from a legal and societal point of view, I’m more or less okay with the idea of spousal notification.
Still, It’s a Stupid Idea
From a practical point of view, this is just stupid.
I think you either need to notify on all crimes or no crimes. Otherwise, you create separate classes of crime. And, if you create separate classes of crime, who is going to decide what offenses rank notification? Sounds like a mess to me.
Will I be notified when my minor (but licensed) kid gets a speeding ticket? If my husband is busted for cooking his company’s books, will I get a letter?
—Matt—
Matthew Steinhoffs last blog post..Mulberry Bush in Florida Soil Growing Like Crazy