Skipping school the hard way

Today was a Monday.

No I haven’t lost my calendar. I know technically today was Wednesday. But it sure felt like a Monday.

It all started when I got out of bed…

When my alarm went off at 6:50, I glared it wishing it to shut the hell up. But it just kept right on beeping. So I hit snooze.

10 minutes later when that fucking thing starting beeping again I gave some serious thought to just turning it off, rolling over, and dreaming about an academy award winning performance of “oh shit my alarm never went off” to be performed about 2 hours later. Instead I hit snooze to think it over.

10 more minutes and I realized I had to drag my tired butt out of bed and get in the shower. No skipping school. I’m an adult now. I need to be responsible. Or at least put some sort of effort towards responsible. So I slithered down to the laundry room/place-where-I-keep-my-clothes-because-I’m-too-lazy-to-carry-them-allll-the-waaaayyy-up-to-my-room for clothes and a towel.

I made my way to the bathroom and jumped in the shower. The shower that has a new “green” shower head that I’d like to rip off, throw in the street, and then drive over about 50 times. Going green is a wonderful thing. And I hope to go green in many aspects of our lives. But my shower head is not one of those ways. The water comes out so slowly it takes me twice as long to wash my hair in freezing cold water since the teens stole all the hot water. Green shower heads can kiss my ass. I want a shower head that beats me in the head with it’s pressure. A shower head that screams “wake up you lazy ass.”

As I was putting my shoes on I realized I only had 10 minutes to get to school. I need at least 15. So I was going to be late.

I gave Lee a quick kiss and scrambled towards the door when Lee said, “Oh shit.” I could read his mind and knew exactly what he was oh shitting about. He forgot to put gas in my truck. And I was on E. I was below E.

“Great. Now I’m really going to be late because I have to get gas,” I grumbled as I stomped out the door.

I made it about three blocks before the truck died. Out of gas.

FUCK!

We live right by a gas station. It’s just six blocks away. I couldn’t even make it 6 blocks for crying out loud.

Lee had to bring me some gas. But the truck still wouldn’t start. So we jumped it. Still nothing.

We got more gas. We jumped it again. Nothing.

Great.

Lee gave it one more go. One last jump before we lost our damn minds right there in the middle of the street. And the truck started.

By that point I was 45 minutes late for school. So I skipped anyway.

I should have just stayed in bed. You should always go with your first instinct.

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