Dads are good parents too

The other day I was reading MomLogic’s article Jon Gosselin is NOT a Stay-at-Home Dad!. I really couldn’t care less if Jon really is a stay-at-home dad or if Kate is too controlling or anything else about this family. I’m so tired of hearing about them I’d like to pluck my eyeballs out with rusty, jagged spoons then read one more tabloid story about them.

BUT…

I was struck by the comments on this post. Whenever you start talking about stay-at-home dads the morons peek their heads out of the woodwork to give their two cents.

Moron exhibit #1:

Whenever a man is a stay at home parent it makes me sick. Men are supposed to be the providers. It is unnatural for a man to want to be around his kids as much as a woman, women have more patience and tolerance. That is just how we were created. I can’t see how any man could truly feel like the head of his household staying at home while his wife works to provide. -Erika

Men are supposed to be the providers? Providing for your family isn’t just monetary. Husbands and fathers need to contribute emotionally and physically as well. Lee doesn’t contribute much money to our household budget, but he still makes a huge contribution to our family. He provides us with love and devotion. He provides me with more time. He provides the kids with guidance. He doesn’t have a job, but he is definitely a provider.

It is unnatural for a man to want to be around his kids as much as a woman? I think it’s pathetic that you would want to be with a man who doesn’t want to be around his kids. The day of men working all day, coming home to pat junior on the head and then heading off to the study to read the paper all evening are over. Today we have evolved to involved families. Not just involved mothers. Today men are taking time off work to go to their kids’ school music programs or sporting events. Today I see several dads on school field trips. At the kids’ wax museum, Lee and I ran in to many, many dads. Today dads are staying home with their kids.

There is no perfect formula that fits every family. Heck, there’s no perfect formula that fits every child. After Skyler & Spencer were born I quickly discovered that worked to sooth Keaton just succeeded in ticking off Skyler & Spencer. In fact what worked for Spencer didn’t always work for Skyler. Everybody is different. You just need to do what works for your family.

Lee and I never set out for Lee to be a stay-at-home. It never even crossed our mind. But he lost his job installing cable and without a degree he couldn’t find a job that paid what he was making. So he stayed home. Neither of us was really sure how it would work out. But it has been such a great experience for everybody.

With Lee at home he has learned how difficult it really is to be the primary caretaker. He has a better appreciation of what it takes to raise a child. I think our marriage has gotten stronger because of this. He’s more plugged in to our family and our household. We share chores equally and therefore have more time for each other.

During that caretaking Lee has really bonded with the kids. He has such a great relationship with Skyler, Spencer and Caleb. I don’t think they would be this close if Lee wasn’t home every day after school, running them to activities, helping them with homework and hosting playdates with their friends.

And the kids get to learn important lessons that only dad’s can teach them. They get to horseplay (something I rarely let them do). He spoils them rotten by letting them by a small toy when they go to the grocery store (again something I seldom do).

If that’s unnatural, then I don’t want to be natural.

Moron exhibit #2:

ME: in my opinion only very ugly woman, controlling with low self stem will accept to support a guy and allow him to stay at home with the kids I don’t care what a good job a men can do there is not way you can compare the care of a good mom, it’s not in their instinct, so I don’t care what a “open mind” you want to be go and get a real man and loss that P….Y that you have as a husband! Matty

I had to read Matty’s comment several times before I could even fully understand this illiterate blubber. But apparently I am a very ugly and controlling woman with low self esteem. And Lee just doesn’t have the instinct to be a parent. I think Matty needs to go back to school and get his high school diploma because that is just ludicrous. I can guarantee that any man that has the courage to stay home all day long with children is no pussy. Successful women aren’t necessarily controlling bitches. And men absolutely have the instinct to be a good parent.

I’m so tired of hearing about how fathers are the second rate parent. I was raised by my father. He wasn’t a stay-at-home dad, but he was a single dad for many years. And he did a fantastic job raising me and teaching me to be a good role to my own children. Stop selling dad’s short. They may not parent exactly the same way moms do, but they are fully capable of being loving and caring parents.

Related posts:

1. The mommy and daddy wars I received
2. That depends on your definition of dependent Remember L
3. Cracking down on irresponsible parents There
4. Turning in to our parents This week
5. Vasectomies, sex and periods, oh my Thursday n

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