A cross between Russell Brand and a bald girl

I’ve been having really wild and crazy dreams recently. It all started a little over a week ago when I had this dream that I won some kind of contest. It was a date with Russell Brand. He and I were in a bathtub. Filled with chili.

It was one of those claw foot tubs and it had a shower curtain that went all the way around it. At first we shut the curtain, but people kept opening it so we finally just gave up and left it open. We were in the middle of a public park and there were tons of people around who wanted to see who was in the tub filled with chili.

At one point my grandma was there. And she sat down in between Russell and I in the chili filled tub. She had her legs dangling over the side. Finally I was all “Umm…Grandma? Do you need something?” And she left.

But my mom was still there. She was standing around talking our ear off. Russell and I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. So I asked my mom to go to the bar and get a drink. [No clue why there was a bar in the middle of a public part. But then why was there a tub? Filled with chili? And Russell Brand?!?] She wasn’t gone for long though. When she came back she brought a chair and sat right next to us to continue her conversation.

And then I woke up. If you have any idea what that dream is all about then feel free to share.

So last night I couldn’t sleep. I was poking around on Facebook and going through some old photo albums trying to wear myself out. Finally around 3am I got this wonderful idea to thin my hair.

I have very, very, very thick hair. [Did I mention it is thick?] I lose a handful of hair in the shower every morning and don’t even notice until I have to clean out the drain the next day. So when I get my haircut my hairdresser thins the crap out of it. But I haven’t had my haircut in quite a while. I decided, to save money in these hard economic times, that I would buy my own thinning sheers and thin it myself. I mean it can’t be that hard, right?

I should stop right here and mention that I in no way shape or form can cut hair. I screw up buzzing the boys’ hair with a #2 guard. Lee always has to go back over it to smooth over the bald spots. So cutting my hair is probably not one of the best ideas I’ve ever had.

Did I mention it was 3am?

So I got out my thinning shears and went to town. And, actually, I think I did a pretty good job. I only have two spots (that I can tell) where I accidentally CUT the hair instead of THINNED the hair. But those spots just blend in. You can hardly even tell.

And then I went to bed.

Where I had a dream.

That I woke up bald.

So when my alarm went off for church this morning I leaped out of bed and rushed in to the bathroom half expecting to see my bumpy bald head. But low and behold. There was my head. Full of thinned out hair. And just two accidentally short spots. So alls good.

Although I think I’ll probably leave this to the professionals next time.

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