Well today was Caleb’s surgery. And just like last time I thought I was handling it well until the night before. Many of you will remember I burst in to tears the night before Caleb’s last surgery. I worked late that night and I came home at 8pm to a voicemail from the doctor’s office stating Caleb’s referral had expired. I paged our family doctor who assured me it would be fine and he would have a new referral faxed over first thing in the morning. And Dr. Emery called me back later that night to let me know that he was still doing the surgery without the referral because he knew we would get it all worked out. Meanwhile all the pressure had spilled over for me and I was a basket case.
We didn’t have all that excitement this time, but it was still stressful. It always creeps up on me too. I lead such a busy life I often forget to stop and take a breather to actually think things over. So at eleven o’clock last night it hit me like a ton of bricks. Did I make the right decision? Does he really need this surgery or am I putting my baby at risk for nothing? And then I started thinking about all the possible risks of surgery on a two year old and knocking him out for this surgery. I really would never forgive myself if something happened to him during a lip revision. He already looked so handsome; did he even need a revision? I sobbed for a while and prayed that God would watch over my baby. So, of course, I couldn’t sleep. I was still eyeballing my clock at 2am and the alarm was set for 5am. And at the hospital I was shaking, still wondering if I’d made the right decision. Then Dr. Emery told us the surgery would be about an hour. An hour came and went and there was no word. I thought I might start crying in the waiting room. But you know me. I always try to put on my happy face. Finally the volunteer told us to go back to the room, so I was starting to feel better. But Caleb wasn’t in the room when we got there. Dr. Emery came in to talk to us about the surgery and he told us it went well. But then they brought Caleb in and I completely blocked out Dr. Emery. I was so happy to see my baby awake and moving and alive. Thank goodness Necole and Lee were there to listen to what Dr. Emery was saying.
Caleb is doing well. He’s running around like his usual self. He sticks his tongue out to stroke the stitches. He can’t quite figure out what that is on his lip. But he is handling it so well. Lee put some of the antibiotic ointment on him tonight before bed and Caleb was not thrilled. He pretty much spread it all over his face. So now he’s protected should he scratch any part of his face (including his forehead) while he sleeps.
This better be the last surgery he will ever need because I don’t think I can take any more. I want to cry when the kids fall down and bump their knees or elbows. I was hysterical when Keaton fell down at one year old and got a huge goose egg on his forehead. I’m getting older now and my heart can’t take it anymore. So I have let the kids know, from this point forward there will be only healthy kids. I’m sure they will oblige me on this one.