Let me give you a little lesson in what eating out is like when you have a three year old.

As you may have guessed, brunch after Justis’ baptism was quite an adventure. It’s was more like the Caleb Show rather than a celebration for Justis.

First, the waitress brought out samples of muffins. One of them was chocolate, chocolate chip. Caleb wanted it. I said, “Would you like a peice of muffin?” To which he replied, “yes, yes, yes” as he shook his head up and down…passionately.

So I went to cut a piece off of for him and he freaked. I don’t mean a little “hey no, don’t cut that.” Instead I got an outrageous siren of a yell. Crocodile tears were streaming on to the table. His hands were turning white as he gripped the air with his fists. It was quite a sight. Apparently he did not want me to cut it at all. I don’t know if he was freaking because he wanted the whole muffin to himself. Or if he was hollering because he didn’t want me to cut it. He is getting very independent these days. Either way, I don’t think any of us were expecting that fierce reaction. Every single person in the restaurant was looking at us. So Lee pulled Caleb out of his chair kicking and screaming and took him out to the car.

Later a woman [probably a manager or something] brought Caleb, Skyler and Spencer stuffed animals that they could keep. I think that was her little bribe to say “please keep your freaking kids quiet.”

A little bit later our food arrived. Caleb ordered the rainbow pancakes. They were pancakes with whipped topping and rainbow sprinkles on them. The rainbow pancakes came with two slices of bacon. Caleb loves bacon. However, on this occassion, bacon was not loving Caleb. He took one bite and he began to choke on the bacon.

I noticed it first and started freaking out. Immediately tears came to my eyes as I pointed at him frantically screaming “CALEB. CHOKING. HELP!” Caleb was across the table from me, between my mom and Keaton. Keaton began smacking Caleb on the back. My mom tried to dig the bacon out of his mouth. And Lee jumped out of his seat.

Caleb finally pulled the bacon out of his mouth. It was half chewed and somewhat stringy. It was disgusting to look at. And my stomach was already in knots from witnessing my son almost choke to death. [Yes, I know I am a little overly dramatic. Live with it.] Here’s where the story gets good. Caleb took that disgusting piece of stringy half-chewed bacon and….re-ate it. Like a cat with it’s vomit. It was so disgusting, I almost vomited myself.

And then just when I thought I was ok I looked over at him and he still had a little bit of chewed up bacon on his chin. I dry heaved. I couldn’t take it anymore. I honestly thought I was going to have to excuse myself from the table. I had to ask my mom to please wipe his chin.

But that little mishap didn’t discourage Caleb from his true love…bacon. After he had eaten all of his own bacon he asked Grandma Cathy if he could have some of hers. She said, “Let’s share it. I’ll give you half.” He looked at her like she was insane. And then he very forcefully said, “NO” and began to whimper the beginnings of another hollering session. So she just handed him the whole piece of bacon. There is a time for teaching kids they don’t always get what they want. And then there is a restaurant where the kids has already alerted all of the patrons that we are horrible, evil parents who deserve to receive the evil eye from every passer byer [passer byer?!?] This was the time to just give him what ever his little heart desires.

But it doesn’t stop there. Caleb got pancakes. And you can’t eat pancakes without syrup. So Lee was going to pour the syrup on to Caleb’s pancakes. But Caleb wasn’t going to have any of that. I told you he’s getting very independent. I was very impressed to see him navigate the syrup all on his own. It’s kind of complicated to hold down that button that opens the spout and pour at the same time. I struggle with it sometimes. But Caleb handled it like a pro.

And then….then he did something I almost cannot repeat. If you know my OCD and my, not obsessive, but concern with other people’s germs, you’ll know how disgusted I was by this. Almost worse then the chewed up bacon. Caleb licked the spout of the syrup container thing. Licked it. WITH HIS TONGUE. This disgusting little syrup container that you know they don’t wash except maybe once on the third Tuesday in June. I seriously think I vomited in my mouth a little.

Lee kept that syrup container thingy out of the carrier [you know one of those three syrup container thingy carriers they have at all Perkins, IHOPs, Villiage Inns and any other pankcake place you can think of]. When the waitress came back Lee told her that Caleb had just licked that one and she probably wants to wash it. And you know what she did? She goes “Oh, ok.” and then put it right back in the three syrup containter thingy holder. You know she didn’t wash that. And some person is eating syrup that’s dripping over my kid’s germs on the way to their plate. I think from now on I will have to bring my own syrup to restaurants. I’m not kidding here.

By this point, the waitress was bringing us our check. I’ve never seen a waitress so thrilled to get rid of people before. And, honestly, I was never so happy to leave.

Justis was baptized today. I’m so proud of him. I could tell that he wasn’t just doing this because we wanted him to. He was doing this because he wanted to. And I was really happy about that. I’m glad that he’s choosing this path on his own.

Before I go on, let me tell you what baptism means to a presbyterian; just for some background information. Baptism distinguishes children of those who believe in God’s redemptive power from children of nonbelievers. The water that is used symbolizes three accounts from the Bible’s Old Testament: the waters of creation, the flood described in the story of Noah, and the Hebrews’ escape from slavery in Egypt by crossing the Red Sea. All three stories link humanity to God’s goodness through water. Baptism signifies the faithfulness of God, the washing away of sin, rebirth, putting on the fresh garment of Christ, being sealed by God’s Spirit, adoption into the covenant family of the Church, resurrection and illumination in Christ.

There was an infant that was baptized right before Justis. And, oddly, Lee knew the uncle of that infant. Small world. So after that baptism the pastor invited us up. Justis stood in front and Nicci, Lee and I stood behind him. My grandpa then presented Justis to the congregation.

Before the service, the pastor read through the ceremony and let Justis know what he would be saying. So for twenty minutes before the ceremony Justis kept repeating “I do, I do, I do, I do, I will.” Those were his responses to the questions the pastor was going to ask him. When it came time for his moment Justis actually said “I do, I do, I do, I do, I do.” But that’s ok. I do. I will. Same difference.

After Justis’ acceptance of the presbyterian faith, the pastor asked the congregation for their help in guiding Justis through his religious journey. Following that acceptance, the pastor baptized Justis by placing water on his forehead three times for the three parts of the trinity; the father, the son and the holy ghost.

Then the pastor introduced the newest member of our congregation.

It was all very exciting. Justis did a great job. And the rest of the kids were very good about sitting still. Caleb came up and stood with us before the congregation while Justis was being baptized. He is one who never wants to be left out. But other than that he sat fairly quiet just playing with his dinosaurs.

Following the service, we went to brunch to celebrate this milestone in Justis’ life.

Today we celebrated my Grandma O’s 75th birthday. In the past few years grandma has lost some of her very good friends. And I know she has her own death on her mind. In fact this year, before she left on her annual trip to Florida in February, she wrote her own obituary. She told me she didn’t actually write it, she just wrote down some notes. But when I was at her house before she left on that trip, she read it to me. And it sounded like a written [not notes] obituary to me.

But I can’t think about my grandma dying. She is so healthy. And so active. I just don’t see it any time in the foreseeable future.

My grandma has always been a very charitable woman. She worked as a school secretary for many, many years and I swear she knows every single person in town because of it. She grew very close to many of those kids, as I’m sure most people who work in schools do.

And after retirement, she’s poured her heart out on her friends. She’s always had a lot of friends, but now that she’s retired and has more time she spends that time on her friends. Like I said, she goes to Florida every February with some of her best friends. Almost every Friday night, she goes to dinner and a movie with friends. She has bridge club once or twice a week.

She also drives her friends to doctor’s appointments. Her friend Marilyn had fallen and hurt her leg. The bump and bruise kept getting bigger and uglier, but Marilyn’s doctor didn’t seem to concerned about it. Finally, grandma said, “Marilyn, I’m taking you to the ER. That looks really bad.” That was over a week ago and Marilyn is still in the hospital. She’s going to be ok, but they are keeping an eye on her. She’s a diabetic so they don’t want there to be any complications.

Grandma has been friends with Dorothy for as long as I can remember. Dorothy is a wild cat. I remember her whopping it up with the stripper at my grandma’s 60th birthday party. She kept grabbing the tassles on the back of the guys g-string. Poor guy kept getting a wedgy. It was hilarious. And if I ever forget I still have the video to remind me. What makes it even better is that Dorothy is 21 years older then grandma.

So now Dorothy is 96 years old. Yes, 96 years old. And still crazy as ever. Apparently Dorothy’s mother lived to be 102 or something, so it runs in their blood. Grandma is kind of Dorothy’s surrogate daughter. Dorothy never had any kids of her own. Recently Dorothy collapsed in her apartment. [Yep, 96 years old and still living on her own.] At the hospital they ran some tests and confirmed that Dorothy has lung cancer. She is going to go through some bouts of radiation. And guess who is going to take her to radiation. Yep, my grandma. And guess who’s paying Dorothy’s bills for her while she’s in the hospital. Yep, my grandma. Grandma’s not actually paying them out of her account [but she would if she needed too]. She’s actually has power of attorney over Dorothy so she can write checks from Dorothy’s account and stuff. Grandma’s also doing Dorothy’s laundry and getting everything taken care of with the doctors.

That’s my grandma. She is always there for you when you need her.

It doesn’t stop with her friends. She’s still very much involved with the school. Now that she’s retired she reads to elementary kids twice a week. And she is very involved in her church as well.

Plus she’s always here for the family. I know if I have a problem I can call grandma and she will listen. And if there is something she can do to help, she does it. I couldn’t ask for a better grandma. She is a great role model. And a wonderful, wonderful person. I am so glad she is part of my life. I’m thrilled to be celebrating her 75th birthday. And I took some great pictures that we will display at her 95th birthday party.