So what’s up with the weather?

Monday I was wearing my winter coat freezing my butt off. And it rained and SNOWed most of the day. It was so crappy out they cancelled Skyler & Spencer’s soccer game. You know if was icky out when they cancel soccer. Last week they played in the even freezing-er [umm..yeah, that's a word] cold. I thought my ears were going to fall off it was so cold.

Then yesterday it got in to the 60s. SIXTY DEGREES people. Now that’s what I’m talking about. My co-workers and I discussed taking our laptops out to the park and testing out the new downtown wireless internet. It was a beautiful day out.

But by 7pm it was raining. And not just a little sprinkle here, raindrops over there. It was a downpour. There were thunderstorm watches rolling across the bottom of the screen as I watch Survivor. Plus I think I heard the news say something about tornadoes somewhere.

And today we are back in the forties. With a wind advisory until 6pm.

What ever happened to nice spring weather? In the last few years from March to June you pretty much have to leave your winter clothes out, but also pull out your summer clothes. One day I’m in shorts and a t-shirt and the next I’m back in my jeans and a sweatshirt. It’s really quite annoying.

Last year, Keaton’s championship soccer game was on May 1st and it was freezing out. Many of the parents watched from their cars [wimps!]. And those of us who braved the sidelines were huddled in our winter coats, hats and gloves.

Caleb was born on May 12th. The year he was born we went to brunch for Mother’s Day and I was shivering as we stood in the parking lot talking to my mom, my aunt and my grandma.

It’s ridiculous. I’m going to have to investigate warmer places to live. I’ll be one of those seniors moving to Florida when my kids move out. Only I can’t move to Florida. I can’t handle hurricanes. Maybe California. But they have earthquakes. Hmmm…..I still have a few years to think it over.

Do you want to know if my daughter has mumps? Yeah, me too.

Yes, tomorrow morning at 10:30am it will be a full week since the nurse drew blood from Skyler to test for mumps. And not one single person has called me to tell me the outcome of that test. And, yes I have called them. I called on Monday and was told as soon as they know they will call me. I sent her back to school on Tuesday. If there is an outbreak of the mumps at her school I think you all know who’s number I’ll be giving out. It sure as hell won’t be mine. And you better believe there will be words exchanged at Justis’ toe recheck appointment next week. I want to look my doctor in the eye when I ask him why his care for my family has plummeted.

Medical care costs have skyrocketed in the last few years. Since my insurance changed with my company I’ve gone from paying $10 co-pays to 30% of the bill. So now I’m paying more and getting less care. In fact I’m paying my doctor but getting most of my medical advice from the internet.

My doctor is not in the network, but I’ve stuck with him because up until recently, I have really trusted his opinion. Plus they always get us in on the same day we call. He knows us by name without looking at our chart. And he and his wife [who is also a doctor and partners with him in his practice] have twins who are just a couple of years older then my twins, so they give good advice on the unique twin issues [like whether they should be in the same class or not].

We’ve been going to him since he was just out of medical school. He even called my aunt one weekend because he had just returned from a conference where he learned about a new treatment that he thought might help her. Back then he was fresh and caring and all about helping his patients.

But something has gone amiss in the last three months. It may not necessarily be him, but something is going downhill…fast. The ball is getting dropped somewhere. And I have little patience for dropped balls.

I’m going to give him one talking to and if things don’t change maybe we’ll have to part ways. It’s not going to take much for me to switch to a cheaper doctor in my network. If I’m going to get below standard care I might as well not pay top dollar for it.

But that being said…..

My anxiety is at an all time high because Skyler will indeed be having surgery. Our ENT will be removing her tonsils on April 19th. Surgery. On my little girl. I can’t bear the thought.

I know it’s routine surgery. And she will be a whole new girl without her tonsils. The doctor said he thinks Skyler rarely [if ever] reaches deep sleep. And if we don’t remove her tonsils the lack of good sleep with catch up with her sooner then later.

Apparently they rate tonsils on a scale from 1 to 4; a 4 meaning the tonsils are touching. Her right tonsil is a 4 and her left tonsil is a 3.5. It doesn’t get much worse then that.

I told him she’s a good eater. He said she must chew up her food really well because it’s got to be difficult for her to swollow.

I asked him what purpose our tonsils served. He said back in the days of cavemen they probably had some important function, but much like the appendix and gall bladder, the tonsils really don’t have an important function now. He said they do help with immunity a little bit. But in Skyler’s case the benefits of removing her tonsils far outweigh the little tiny boost in immunity her tonsils are giving her now.

So choking back tears, I agreed to the surgery. And we scheduled it for the morning of April 19th. Skyler will have to miss a week of school. [Which she will hate.] She’ll be on a strict diet of ice cream, milkshakes and pudding. [I'm sure that will just break her heart. ] And she will have to drink lots of fluids that week.

The doctor said we should make a game out of it. Like every time Patrick says “Spongebob” she drinks or something like that. Skyler hardly ever watches TV though so we’ll have to come up with some other type of game.

I never thought I’d be brainstorming drinking games for my six-year-old. I vaguely remember a few back from my early twenties. Maybe a dice game. Isn’t 10 a social? Or a card game. Up and down the river perhaps. Oh wait, maybe that’s not the type of drinking game he was talking about.

Do you listen to the top 40 stations on the radio? Have you heard that song “I’m in love with a dancer?” Apparently the CD version is called “I’m in love with a stripper.” I’m trying to figure out why we need a clean radio version of this song. Why does changing that one word from stripper to dancer make it appropriate for radio?

Seriously. When did stripper become a bad word? They allow songs where a woman is called a ho, but stripper is bad? There are songs where clean radio version just silences the curse word. You hear “mother fff” in one of Kanye West’s “clean” versions. Like we don’t know what he’s really saying there. So “mother ffff” is ok, but just don’t say stripper?

STRIPPER. STRIPPER. STRIPPER. STRIPPER.

There take that. Don’t you feel dirty now?

Have you listened to the rest of the uncensored words that play on the radio. I think the word stripper is the least of the song’s problems. “She comes down from the ceiling.” “She climbs up the pole.” “I’m going to take her home and do the night thing.”

Come on. Are we stupid? She’s a dancer that comes down from the ceiling. She’s a dancer who climbs up a pole. She’s a stripper. Either play the song or don’t play the song. But censoring the word stripper is just dumb.

And since we are on the subject of music….OH…MY…GOD…did you watch American Idol tonight? I think my ears are still bleeding. Tonight I was thankful that I couldn’t vote [because I have class on Tuesday nights and don't watch the show until after the voting is done]. Who would I have voted for? I would have just sat there staring blindly at my phone wondering what the hell just happened to me. Was I a bad girl? Does American Idol hate me? Cause I felt like I was just spanked. And not in a good stripper kind of way.

EVERYBODY was HORRIBLE. I don’t mean not so good. I don’t mean bad. I mean ABSOFREAKINGLUTELY AWFUL. I think I’ve had better performances in my shower and I can’t sing to save my life.

Plus what’s up with the fashion?

First Ace. Ace, I love him so. But the part. In his hair. What? The? Hell? Was? That? It was like he parted his hair down the middle. Applied some gel to the first quarter inch past the part. And the completely forgot about the rest of his hair. It was like, “Hey look at my part. See my pretty part. Isn’t it nice and straight?” Next week get a new stylist. Or any stylist at all.

Then, when did the 80′s explode all over my television screen? A couple of weeks ago Lisa Tucker wore a long shirt with a big three inch wide belt slanted on her hip. You all remember that from junior high right? The belt you positioned just perfectly to balance on one hip and drape down below the opposite hip. That was so rad. **eyes rolling….right on to the floor**

And tonight Paris wore a shirt/jacket type thing with rhinestones. That belts around the middle. And not in a nice flashback-to-the-50′s-belt-around-the-middle kind of way. More of a help-me-God,-I’m-trapped-in-the-80′s kind of way.

I realize you are both very young so here’s a little tip girls. There is not one single thing from the 80′s that should ever…..ever, ever see the light of day again. We don’t need shirts with the neck torn out worn over one shoulder. We don’t need pants rolled up tightly around your ankle. We certainly don’t need shoulder pads. And strike me dead if that big hair ever comes back in style again.

Although I kind of like leg warmers. Let’s bring back the leg warmers.

Our schools have an online gradebook. I can see the kids’ attendance, schedules, grades and missing assignments there. I love it.

I try my best to stay on top of it. For Keaton and Justis I go out and check for missing assignments periodically. I check the teacher’s websites to see what homework the boys will [or should] be bringing home during the week. I check attendance to make sure they are getting to class on time and aren’t skipping out on anything.

Today I checked the website and found a couple of missing assignments for Justis. This is a recurring issue with Justis. And it’s getting really old.

I also discovered that Keaton is getting a D in Reading because he didn’t do so hot on the last three assignments. I’m extremely dissapointed because he is typically an A and B student. He could be a straight A student if he’d put forth more effort.

I’m running out of ideas to motivate the boys to get their work done, on-time and to the best of their ability. I’m frustrated because I know how important it is for them to do a good job. But I’m also not so “old” that I don’t remember how much school sucks when you are their age.

So today, after checking the online system, I called the boys to confront them and let them know computers are off for the rest of the day. I was at work so I wasn’t yelling. But I was speaking in a very firm voice.

Justis’ response was his typical, “yeah, I didn’t know it was late, but it’s turned in now” response.

Keaton, however, was devasted. He couldn’t understand how he got an F on those last three assignments. He’s confident he did well on them. How could this be? And then he burst in to tears. And I got to tell you. As mad as I was that he’s not performing the best he can, it broke my heart to hear him sobbing about his Reading grade.

I know, I’m the parent. I have to stand firm and not give in. But the crying….the crying is tearing me up. I’m a big softy for crying. I want them to do their best. AND I don’t want them to be hurt or feel sad. But I just can’t figure out how to make both of those things happen simultaneously yet.