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1. My very first job [which was also the one and only job I ever had while I was in school] was at Jyacc, Inc. I believe they were later bought out by Agency.com which is where you can find them today. So anway, my mom worked at Jyacc and got me this great *insert sarcasm* desk job. It was in an office they were just getting ready to move in to. I was the only person in the office most days. I unpacked boxes and answered phones. Occassionally I would order lunch for people. It doesn’t get any more exciting than that people. By the end of the day I was so tired of answer the phone, “Jyacc, this is Christine” that I was struggling to say the name correctly. Some times I’d say “Jayacc” or “Ji-ack” or “Jack.” It was miserable. I only lasted about a week and then I was back in front of the television all day at my mom’s house.

2. After I dropped out of college, my dad said, “If you live in my house and don’t go to school then you get a job.” So I did. I went to work at Wendy’s Old Fashioned Hamburgers. [Yes, that's the full name.] I did a little bit of everything there. I worked the front register where I took orders, made change, cleaned the tables after people left and filled up the salad bar. I also worked the drive-thru where I froze my behind off in the winter. I even filled fries, made burgers on the grill [when we were slow] and made sandwiches. Plus I toasted buns and occassionally did the dishes. I was a jill of all trades.

3. While working at Wendy’s I got this wild hair up my butt to get a second job at a nursing home. This job started at like 4am or some ungodly hour in the morning. It was still dark out when I went to work. I often closed at Wendy’s and didn’t go to bed until 2am. I think you can guess how long this nursing home gig lasted. Not long. But I did really like it. I worked with severly handicapped teenagers/young adults. It was an extremely rewarding job. I think it would have been even more rewarding if it wasn’t so early in the morning.

4. Then I gave customer service a whirl. Yeah, me. And customer service. It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to realize those two things mix about as well as water and vinegar. I’m so NOT a people person. So that lasted about two weeks and then I just stopped showing up. I was so responsible back then. *snort*

5. So customer service didn’t work out. The next step was Target. For some reason I thought that even though customer service was not my thing that maybe talking to people in the checkout would be. Yeah, right. I didn’t even make it through orientation.

6. After the quick stint at the nursing home, I decided I wanted to go back to school to be a nurse. The local community college had a very, very long waiting list for the nursing program. So while I waited I took classed to become a Certified Nurses Aide. After I got my certificate I got a job in an elderly nursing home. I worked on the alzheimer’s floor. This was also a very rewarding job. When I graduated from high school I had originally gone to school [you know, before I dropped out] to be either a genetic engineer or a geriatrician. So working with elderly was always something I wanted to do.

However, actually working with the elderly is something else. It’s so sad to see all of these patients living in the nursing home and rarely [if ever] getting a visit from a family member. It’s almost criminal. DO NOT FORGET YOUR FAMILY IN THE NURSING HOME. [That's my T13 lesson for the week.]

While I worked at the nursing home we lost two patients. And I don’t mean lost, like can’t find them. I mean lost like went to live with God. That’s just devasting. (1) Because seeing and touching a dead person is not something I enjoy. (2) You get really attached to these patients and it’s so sad to let them go.

While I worked at the nursing home, I got pregnant with Keaton. I had some complications in the beginning and I was unable to do any heavy lifting. I decided to go ahead and quit my job at this point.

7. After Keaton was born, I got a job as a file clerk at US Cellular. I had a boss that could make a grown woman cry. And by that I mean she was a raving bitch. Even worse then me coming off my meds. Keaton was born in August. From Halloween to Valentine’s Day I had him at the doctor weekly. He had ear infection, bronchitis, RSV, pnuemonia. You name it. He had it. But I never missed more work then I had time. My mom and dad took days off to stay home with Keaton. My roommate [and best friend] even called in sick a few times to stay home with him. But I was still in my six months probationary period and my boss fired me just days before that was up. Bitch.

8. Then I [FINALLY] went back to school. I decided I could no longer work minimum wage jobs doing the most boring tasks all day for the biggest bitches ever. While I was going to school I worked part-time as an Administrative Assistant at brokerage firm. After a while I decided I needed to work full-time and go to school part-time. The brokerage firm was more than happy to hire me on full-time. I input commissions for brokers, got my first taste of accounts payable printing out checks and I typed up legal documents for the lawyer. I really liked that job, but it didn’t pay very well.

9. So I left the brokerage firm to do payroll at Amana Refridgeration. This was [almost, only second to being a file clerk] the most boring job ever. It wasn’t really payroll. It was really data entry. And I have a little ADD brain. ADD brains and data entry don’t go hand and hand. They aren’t talking long strolls together in the park. Instead they throw rocks and each other and call each other bad names. After just a month [and almost getting run off the road by a semi because I had a fairly long commute for this job...not a NY commute, but longer than the 7 minutes I have now] I handed in my resignation. I did give two weeks notice though.

10. Then I landed a job in Accounts Receivable for metal company. I liked this job. It had a little variety so I didn’t get bored. Plus one of my good friends worked there [and helped me get the job in the first place.] However, there was a down side. [Isn't there always?] I worked with a girl who constanly had a reason for not coming in to work. She took over a month off when her husband had a hernia operation or something. She took a few days off to deal with insurance issues when her snowmobile got stolen. She was constantly sick. She even took a few days off because her dog had allergies. It was ridiculous. Our manager even made comments about her and her lack of presence in the office. But yet she never got written up for it. I finally had enough and quit. I was sick and tired of doing her work while she made more money then me. There was a ton more drama after I left that I’m so glad I wasn’t there for. People like that make me want to rip all their hair out in big bloody clumps. But moving on…

11. After that job I got a job in a law office. I was in accounting. Which was right up my alley since I was a Business Administration student. But once I got started I found out it wasn’t really accounting. It was in the accounting department, but it was really transcription. I even had one of those foot pedals. Except, instead of transcribing the exciting details of big court cases, I got to transcribe hours; things like “Met with client 0.5 hours. Researched case law 2.4 hours.” OH. MY. GOSH. Do you know how freaking boring that was? I kept getting easily distracted. And then I had to quit.

12. Since I quite without a job to go to, I had to get a temp job. I went to Accountemps. They had a job at MCI that paid well [in fact more than I made at the law firm], but it didn’t start for three weeks. This actually worked out quite well because I had given a two week notice at the law firm. Instead of accepting my two week notice, they just sent me home. ONLY they paid me for my two week notice. So I got paid for staying home. And that just ROCKED!

13. After just three months, MCI decided to hire me on permanently. So then I was at MCI/Worldcom/MCI Worldcom/MCI/Verizon Business [we've been through a few mergers, a bankruptcy and many, many name changes]. And this is where I have been since 1998. [Kids make you grow up and smell the money I guess No more job hopping for me. *grin*] I started out as a billing analyst creating/running usage reports, issuing credits/debits and even a little bit of training. Then I moved on to my current Project Manager position where I make sure what we’re selling can be billed. And I’m somewhat happy here. Although my goal is to eventually quit and work for myself. But at the moment I’m comfortable and I work with some great people.

I ran across an article today that was quite disturbing to me. Apparently a woman in China blogged about having an abortion because her unborn child had a cleft lip. She says she discussed it with her spouse, her parents and her siblings and they all agreed an abortion was the right thing to do.

I can’t believe this. I’m flabbergasted. In fact I’m fighting back tears.

I don’t know if this was a planned pregnancy or not, but it appears she actually wanted this baby; at lest until she found out the baby had a cleft lip. She was six months along when she aborted her baby boy. More than half way to a birth. After an ultrasound she wrote:

It was the first time I had ever seen the lovely creature who has accompanied me for six months as I lay on a hospital bed for a check up. He is so cute. Sometimes he stretches, sometimes he gapes, and sometimes he sucks his little fingers. However it makes me shiver to see a cleft, ranging from 3 to 7 millimeters in his upper lip.

Let me paraphrase that for you. Basically she said “I have this beautiful little boy inside me, but he’s not like everybody else and that makes me shiver.”

More than four years ago, I met my baby, Caleb, for the very first time. My whole pregnancy I was convinced Caleb was a Chloe. But as the doctor pulled Caleb out he said, “It’s a girl. Oops, nope it’s a boy.” [That was a little doctor humor because I had told the doctor I thought I was having a girl even though we never had an ultrasound to find out.]

But Caleb’s gender wasn’t the only surprise we got. Caleb was born with a cleft lip. As far as cleft lips go, Caleb’s was very, very minor. He had a 3/4 inch unilateral cleft. This means it only went 3/4 of the way to his nose and was only on one side of his face.

That’s Caleb when he was eleven days old. Look at how handsome he is. Do you give a shit that his lip isn’t fused together in one spot? ‘Cause I don’t even notice it anymore when I look back at these old photos.

In the scope of all things that can go wrong in a pregnancy, a cleft lip is nothing. Yes, there are hardships. It’s more difficult to feed a baby with a cleft lip. Breast feeding is difficult if not impossible for some kids. Cleft kids are more suseptible to ear infections. Cleft kids may have dental problems and trouble chewing [although this is more in kids with cleft palates, not cleft lips]. But none of these are life threatening. None of these things stop a child from leading a very normal life.

I am pro-choice. I would prefer that a woman not have an abortion. I would preach about keeping your child. But it’s not my body and it’s not my decision. I believe every woman needs to make that decision for herself.

That being said, having an abortion in your sixth month because the baby has a cleft lip is ludacris. That is the most ridiculous reason I have ever heard. I can understand chosing an abortion if your child has a debilitating disease and will lead a painful life, but because of a cleft lip. You’ve got to be kidding me.

Here is Caleb on October 6, 2002. He is almost five months old in this picture. This is just a little over a month after his first surgery. Look at how good he looks. You can barely tell he ever had a cleft lip.

Caleb has had two surgeries. He probably won’t have another unless we need to do another retouch as his head grows. Those surgeries were very difficult; emotionally I mean. Caleb was in a lot of pain after his first surgery. His face was swollen. His throat was scratchy. He was restrained with arm bands for quite some time. And he had to wear a bar across his face so he didn’t bump his incision. It was heartbreaking to watch my baby in pain and uncomfortable. But Caleb bounced back pretty quickly. In fact his second surgery was an outpatient surgery and he was running around the next day.

We did have our share of problems with Caleb’s cleft lip.

We had problems with breastfeeding, even when I used the nipple shield. I had really wanted to breast feed, but it just wasn’t meant to be. But Caleb had no problem learning to eat from the specialized bottles they have for cleft babies.

He has an extra front tooth. Most people have two big front teeth in the top of their mouth. Caleb has three, one of which is turned sideways. If that third big tooth returns after he loses his baby teeth, an orthodondist will remove it.

His teeth are a little off-centered, but you can’t really tell unless you’re looking for it. Caleb has been going to a pediatric dentist since he was very young and the dentist thinks Caleb’s teeth look good otherwise.

You can see a small scar on his lip and he has a little extra flap of skin on the inside part of his lip. But I’ll take all of that over not having him in my life any day.

Was it a shock to have a baby with a cleft lip? You bet it was. I’d even go so far as to say it was devasting. It was devasting because I assumed he would be perfect. And I was thrown off guard by his cleft lip.

But you know what I learned? He is perfect. He just has a cleft lip. And that was just a minor inconvenience. Not something that would make me want to miss out on Caleb’s whole life.

It’s terrifying to think of all I would have missed if I had made the same decision this woman in China made. I would have missed the excitment in the other kids’ faces when they met their baby brother for the first time. I would have missed cradling Caleb in the middle of the night as I rocked him back to sleep. I would have missed his first smile with and without the cleft lip. I would have missed the little wobbley first steps he took on his first birthday. I would have missed his big sloppy kisses. I would have missed the first time he told me he loved me. I would have missed good night hugs and kisses. I would have missed the first day of preschool. I would have missed everything that has been my world for the last five years.

I can’t believe anybody would want to throw all of that away because of a cleft lip.

I was trying to be all scholarly tonight and actual read some news. I was perusing MSNBC.com when I came across this story. The title caught my attention; No brats allowed! Is American society increasingly intolerant of tots? I’ve read some articles in the past regarding restaurants displaying signs stating children are only allowed if they behave and things like that. As the mother of five, you might figure this is of particular interest to me.

It’s amazing to me that some adults have forgotten that they were once children too. Children are unpredictable. Children can be angels one minute and devils the next. That’s the nature of childhood.

I found it almost humorous that Josephine Charlton says “she loves children” and then goes on to say “they are becoming public nuisances nonetheless.” But she doesn’t stop there. She continues on to say that “her local Whole Foods has been overrun by ‘breeders’ with an oversized sense of entitlement” and “museums are now inappropriately clogged with strollers.” That’s not exactly the heartfelt sentiments I would expect from somebody who “loves children.”

So I guess parents should just leave their children at home…always. I’m not exactly sure how children will ever learn to behave in public if they aren’t allowed in public. Then instead of misbehaving children in grocery stores and museums, we’ll just have misbehaving adults. Honestly I think misbehaving adults are worse because (1) they are adults and should know better and (2) they are bigger and can do more damage.

Ms. Charlton then went on to talk about children on airplanes.

She recalls a recent flight when parents allowed their toddler son to run up and down the aisle in first-class. “My friend said, ‘Hey, would you mind watching your child?’ You would’ve thought he wanted to nail the kid to a cross!”

Do you think, “Hey, would you mind watching your child?” was the most appropriate way to handle the situation? I think not. I think that was actually pretty rude. I’ve been on flights where the person sitting next to me talks to much. Do you think they would enjoy me saying, “Hey, would you mind keeping your mouth shut?” Yeah, I don’t think so either.

Maybe instead her friend could have just mentioned something to the flight attendant who could have then kindly gone to the parents and said something like, “for the safety of your children and the other passengers we ask that you and your familiy remain in your seats unless you need to use the restroom.” She could have then offered paper and crayons or another beverage or peanuts or something else to keep the kid occupied.

What’s ironic is I see Ms. Charlton’s point. However, I think she could be a little more forgiving when she opens her mouth and speaks. It drives me crazy when I’m at a restaurant and somebody else’s kids are running around my table. Or when I’m at the movies and somebody’s kid is kicking the back of my chair through the whole movie. Unfortunately there are parents who allow their children to misbehave in public without punishment. Those parents ruin it for the rest of us.

I’m not saying that kids should be seen and not heard. Or that they should be seated, stiff and quiet in their chairs at all time. That’s a little ridiculous to expect that from a child. But some rewards for good behaviour and some punishments for bad behaviour wouldn’t hurt. Especially in public.

I remember [vividly] one [actually two] time[s] Lee and I took all of the kids to a restaurant when they were young. The first time was before Caleb was even born and Skyler and Spencer were around 18 months. We went to a family pizza joint. So it wasn’t a high class restaurant. It was a place where lots of kids were. Even with that, Skyler and Spencer were so bad Lee ended up taking the kids to the car while I asked the waiter to put our food in carryout containers.

Since then we have been to restaurants where one of us has to take one [or more] of the kids to the car for a time out. Or been to movies where we have to take one [or more] of the kids in the hallway to discuss appropriate “movie voices.”

I remember when I was in high school, we would go out to eat as a family and my young cousins would be running all over the restaurant. I couldn’t believe my aunt and uncle just let them run like hoodlums. I keep that in the back of my mind now that I have small children. We always try to get a table next to a wall so the kids can get up and run around between our table and the wall. That way they aren’t disturbing other patrons, but they are still getting out some energy while the adults finish up.

The funny thing about this is, now that their children are teenagers and/or adults, my aunt and uncle now think I don’t discipline my children very well in public. In fact, we always go out to dinner for birthdays on that side of the family. ALWAYS. For as long as I can remember. But last December, my aunt chose a fancy restaurant for her birthday and asked that I not attend. Only she didn’t really ask me. Instead the family just decided not to tell me they were going out to dinner. Needless to say, I was extremely pissed off. But I’ve gotten off on a tangent.

So back to kids in public. There are tons of kids in society today. And, yes, sometimes they misbehave. And, yes, sometime parents don’t always handle it the best. But as they said in the article, “two rudes don’t make a polite.”

I don’t expect parents to always keep their kids at home. In fact I hope they don’t. I love to meet other parents and make goofy faces with the kid at the next table. But I would expect people who are bothered by a child’s behaviour to handle it in a mature and respectful way.

Our friends from Arizona came to visit this weekend. Since they moved to Arizona, over seven years ago, they have only been able to come back a handful of times. So we decided to go out and have a few beers with them on Saturday night [and I mean beer in the figurative sense because I don't drink beer and Lee doesn't drink at all].

Since we were planning on going out we needed to get a babysitter. We have a girl that sometimes babysits for us sometimes, but she was dating one of Lee’s friends…and now they aren’t. She called us and told us she’d still babysit for us though. And, honestly, when you have five kids, it’s hard to find a good babysitter. So I told Lee to call her.

But then we got to thinking…Justis is 14. He really is responsible enough to babysit. And Keaton is 12. He’s not really old enough to babysit on his own, but he could be a good helper to Justis.

So I called the boys in for a family meeting. I said, “Do you guys want to babysit or would you rather we get a sitter?” I barely got the question out before they were both nodding their head vigorously and saying, “Yes, how much do we get paid?”

And the decision was made. They would babysit for us. We wouldn’t be out any later than midnight [if that late] and they weren’t allowed on the computer while they were babysitting. [When they are on the computer they are like zombies. The house could burn down around them and they would barely notice.]

After making sure both boys were off the computer and in the living room with their siblings, plus checking to make sur all emergency numbers were secured to the fridge, Lee and I left around 7:30pm

It was kind of a strange feeling the kids home alone for the first time. On one hand I knew they could handle it and they would take this responsibility very serious. But on the other hand I felt like I was leaving our kids home alone [which we were, but you know what I mean.]

As we pulled away from the house I had thoughts that maybe we should just stay home. Or maybe Lee should go without me. But I shook them off. I had to trust the boys. I had to let them know I trusted them. It’s important to them.

We headed up to a bar that is only a few blocks from our house. We could have run home if we wanted to [but who wants to?!?]. So we weren’t even that far away. And both Lee and I carried our cell phones in our pocket so we could answer it the second it started to vibrate. But we never got a call from the boys.

When we pulled up to the house at ten to midnight, the house was dark. As we were walking up to the front door, Lee said, “Do you think they are in bed?” I said, “The little kids? Or all of the kids?”

Then we entered the house. All five kids were laying on blankets in the living room. They had watched a movie and fallen asleep together. It was so sweet.

So all went well. I worried for nothing. They did a fantastic job. I never doubted them for a second.

Plus if we hadn’t gone out we would have totally missed our friends, Dave and Scott, singing a karaoke love song together. Now that was priceless.