About an hour ago I got home from my first night of my Marketing Management class. I hate these first nights. I’m always a neurotic mess on the way to class, during class and on the way home.
Tonight we had to pick groups of five people. You know how well I am at whoring myself out (oh the Google hits I’ll get from that) to a group. Especially on the first night of class. I was petrified. So I wished it to all go away. Unfortunately it didn’t.
When I got home I sent this email to my teacher. I wish I was lying, but this is the actual email. Clearly a night to “think on it” was necessary. But I got trigger happy and hit send anyway.
Adjunct Lecturer Hillman,
I’m seeking your help in finding a group to work with on the group project. I have two versions of why I could not join a group in class tonight.
The long whiny version is that I live in [city 45 miles from school], work full-time during the day and have five kids. It’s hard for me to find a group that wants to work with the old lady who can only meet when her classmates either want to go out with their friends or sleep off a hangover.
The short real version is that I’m very shy and never actually asked anybody.
Since we’re on the subject of my ailments and you told us to contact you if we have any disabilities that may hinder us in class, I should probably tell you I have OCD. And because of that (plus the fact that I’m very shy) I am terrified of public speaking (along with some other things like my obsession with even number, but that’s neither here nor there). No amount of practice seems to help me overcome this fear. I’m a Project Manager by day so I deal with people all the time. I’m just a big weanie when I’m standing in front of the class or a large group of people. I typically survive the speech (obviously), but I often trip over my tongue and even snotted all over my shirt once. So I’m just warning you.
I hope you don’t think I’m a total loon. Unlike Britney, I take my medication every day so I should be well behaved in class.
See? I told you. If there was ever a case for keeping an email in the draft folder overnight, this was it. Learn from my mistakes people. Never send emails during or immediately following anxiety attacks.
Also, on a separate note. I have a public service announcement for the jackass on the interstate on my way home.
If I fly by you in the right lane, it means your slow ass needs to get out of the left lane. The speed limit is 70. Not 55. Stop blocking traffic!
This heartfelt PSA was brought you by The Bean Blog.