Sweet 16 and never been kissed…right?

Justis turned sixteen today. SIXTEEN, people! Hold me.

His party isn’t until this weekend, but we had a little party at home tonight. He got everything he wanted; new tennis shoes and money.

Teenagers are so easy to shop for. All they want is money. It’s always the right size. And it’s always the right color.

I also got up at 7am to straighten his hair. Just because it’s his birthday. That was the best present ever. Better than the cash. Because I never get up at 7am.

After the gift opening, we did something really, really mean. We found some old keys to a truck Lee sold at least eight years ago. Lee rattled them behind his back.

Justis said, “What’s that behind your back?”

Lee pulled out the keys. Justis jumped up, “What?!?”

Lee said, “Look outside.”

Outside on the porch was a little toy convertible.

I know. I know. We are horrible parents. We get our kid all excited about a new car and all he got was a small toy. We should have gotten him a t-shirt that said, “It was my sixteenth birthday and all I got was this stupid toy car.”

Then it was cake time. I was apparently delirious from the whole car joke because I cut up pieces of cake for everybody before it dawned on me that we never sang “Happy Birthday” or have Justis blow out his candles.

So I searched the kitchen for candles, but I couldn’t find them anywhere. What happens to the damn candles every year? Every year I have no candles for Justis’ birthday. So I buy new candles for Caleb’s birthday thinking I’ll keep them in the drawer for the next birthday. But somehow they are never there come April. It’s like that damn missing sock in the dryer. Where does this stuff go? Can somebody please tell me?

I didn’t want to do what we did last year where I had him blow out pretend candles. So this year we put sixteen matches on the cake and lit them. I know. Could we be anymore redneck? We might as well put the car on cement blocks in the front lawn.

But even with the evil trick with the “new car” and the matchstick candles, I think Justis had a pretty good day. I can’t believe he’s 16.