When Lee was a child Granny had to take him to the ER so many times, I’m surprised they haven’t yet named a wing after him. He’s broken bones, had concussions, gotten hit by a car, been in a car accident, and gotten stitches so many times he’s practically the bionic man now.

This hanging out the ER syndrome is something Lee passed on to his boys. Especially Caleb. Caleb’s had stitches in his head three times. And on his face twice. He’s also broken his arm. And he’s only 8. He hasn’t even really started playing sports yet. I shiver just thinking about what lies ahead for us.

Last Tuesday Spencer had a friend over to play video games. I have really thought about giving our xbox away to charity because the boys fight over it so much. “Mom Spencer won’t let me play Red Dead Redemption.” “Caleb you’re supposed to go to the left.” “Why did you just kill me.” It’s enough to make my head explode right off my body.

Caleb swears he wasn’t mad [but I don't really believe that...I think they were AGAIN fighting over the video game] when he threw a pair of Spencer’s shorts. He says he was just trying to throw them in to the laundry room [which really is just a throw away from their bedroom]. But the shorts hit Spencer friend.

The friend reacted by throwing the shorts back at Caleb who had turned around and was walking away. The shorts [along with the belt attached] hit Caleb in the back of the head, cutting it open. I was upstairs straightening my hair for my upcoming meeting and I heard them yelling at each other but tried to drown them out. I could hear the friend telling Caleb, “Go tell your mom.” I figured he was just making fun of him for being a tattle tale or something.

But when Caleb reached the bathroom and told me his head hurt, I sighed and told him we’d get him some ice. That’s when I noticed the blood dripping down his neck. I yelled, “OH MY GOD! WHAT HAPPENED?” and then remembered I needed to stay calm or else I’d freak him out.

Caleb was whimpering “Do I have to get stitches? I don’t want to get stitches.” I started to clean up the cut. At first it didn’t look too bad. I said, “No I don’t think it’s bad enough for stitches.”

But after I got all the blood cleaned up I realized he had a pretty deep gash in his head. And YES it likely did require stitches.

It was after-hours for the doctor’s office so we headed over to the closest walk-in clinic. The place was empty so we got right in. The nurse took a look at it. Cleaned it up some more. And then told us the doctor would be in to either put in stitches or staples.

Caleb’s eyes got really, really big. STAPLES! He was horrified.

When the doctor came in Caleb meekly asked, “Are you stapling my head?”

The doctor assured him he was just going to use stitches. But as he was answering the question he turned sideways and Caleb could see the big needle with Novocaine in it. He gasped. The doctor turned to try to hide the needle. But the damage was already done.

We assured Caleb that it would just pinch for a minute and then it would be all numb. All he’d feel after that would be maybe a little tugging. The doctor put in the needle and Skyler & I held Caleb’s hand. That kid sure has a tight grip.

A few minutes later the doctor poked Caleb in the head a few dozen times with the needle. Caleb didn’t even flinch. So the Novocaine was working.

Caleb ended up with three stitches in the back of his head. He was so proud of himself. He doesn’t remember any of the other times he’s had stitches. So he went home and bragged about how brave he was. Now he has a war story to share with all his friends.

Today we went back to the walk-in clinic to get the stitches out. The place was packed today. And it smelled like sickness. You know me and my OCD. I was freaking out. I had to go outside for a little bit to get some fresh air. After about 30 minutes in the waiting room they finally called Caleb’s name. With relief I signed “THANK GOD.”

Caleb’s hair is dark. And the stitches are dark. So the nurse tried to cut them out without also giving Caleb a haircut. She struggled a little bit with the first one. But eventually got it out without Caleb even realizing it. She went to through it away, but Caleb was trying to see it. So she set it next to him. I’m pretty sure he would have taken those stitches home for show-and-tell if she would have let him.

The next two stitch removals were a little bit painful. I could see him tense up a little so I grabbed his hand. He told the nurse, “That one hurt a little bit.”

But the last one came out easy too. So he’s all stitched up. And all better. He’s such a brave kid.

I hope this is the last emergency visit. But somehow I doubt that.

When I picked the kids up from school today Skyler said, “Spencer, do you have something you want to tell mom?”

She totally gets that from me. Whenever I am trying to get the kids to confess to something before I call them out I said, “Do you have something you need to share with me?” About half the time they fess up. A quarter of the time they fess up to something I didn’t even know about. And the rest of the time they just ignore me.

I sat silently waiting for the big confession. I didn’t want to steal Skyler’s thunder. She was so proud of herself for snitching on her brother. And I didn’t want to scare Spencer off from telling me the horrible, terrible thing he had done.

Spencer went with the denial route. “I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

Skyler wasn’t deterred. “Don’t you want to tell mom about your behavior on the bus?”

Now I was starting to envision one of those nasty grams from the bus barn. The ones that include a handwritten note about how bad your kid was on the bus. And it always includes a nice pamphlet explaining punishments based on first, second and third offense. The bus police are pretty strict.

But Spencer still wasn’t giving up the deets.

Thankfully, Skyler felt the need to continue on. Never one to try to be in cahoots with her brother. They may be twins. But they are also mortal enemies. At least sometimes.

Skyler taunted, “I think you should tell mom about your cursing on the bus.”

Spencer was appalled, “What are you talking about? I never cursed on the bus.”

Skyler smirked, “Um, yes. You said the ‘f’ word. Several times. On the shuttle bus.”

They went back and forth for several minutes. Skyler calling Spencer out. Spencer flat out denying it.

It was clear Spencer was caught. One of the best traits I ever passed on to him was the inability to lie. Or at least the inability to lie well enough that anybody actually believes you.

Later he and I were on the way to soccer practice when I brought up the cursing conversation.

“So what’s this about you cursing on the bus,” I asked.

“I don’t know what Skyler’s talking about. I never curse on the bus,” he lied.

And at just that moment we hit a bump and the soccer ball that was sitting on his lap leaped up and smacked him right in the mouth.

“My soccer ball just hit me in the mouth,” he said.

“That’s what I call karma buddy.”

Last summer Skyler gave up dance and gymnastics to join a local cheer team. With dance and gymnastics she never traveled anywhere. She just had practice once a week for each. And at the end of the school year she had a big dance recital. But with cheer she is on a traveling team.

Up until this weekend we haven’t traveled very far. She’s performed in a couple of parades and at a competition at the local mall. And everything’s been pretty calm. No crazy moms trying to break other cheerleaders legs. No girl fights over spirit sticks. I’m new to this whole cheer world. And I was starting to think that all those things I see in the movies and the news about cheerleading are all old wives tales.

But then this weekend we had our first major competition. Jamfest in Peoria, IL. And all that changed.

No there wasn’t any fighting. Or cursing. Or unsportsmanlike conduct. Thank goodness. But cheer competitions can still be intense and a tiny bit crazy without all that violence.

This is Breast Cancer Awareness month and Jamfest was doing a big push to raise money for the cause. The second we walked in the door to the Peoria Civic Center we were met by a group of women (and even a few men) in bright pink wigs and hot pink socks.

I had no idea there were so many men that were willing to file away their man cards for a cheer competition. I’m not saying this is a bad thing. In fact I think it’s totally awesome.

Don’t get me wrong. There were many, many men who were chilling in their seats, listening to the college football games on their radios or checking the stats on their mobiles. But there were also a ton of guys showing their team spirit. What an amazing group of dads!

The best costume ever was Captain Cheer Time. He was this guy in a red jumpsuit looking thing (which may have actually just been sweats and a t-shirt…I was pretty far away from him). His shirt said, “Captain Cheer Time” across the front and he was sporting a red wig and cape. A cape, people. It was classic.

There was another dad showing his support of his girl with his shaved head covered in red and blue stars painted on his scalp. So he was not only a good Cheer Dad, but also very patriotic.

And the Green Bay Elite Cheer team combined dad’s love of football with their love for their daughters with cheer jerseys. They looked like football jerseys with the Green Bay Elite logo on the front. And on the back they said things like “Kev, Gabby & CC’s Dad” or “Courtney’s Dad.” I love it! One dad took it even a little farther with a cheesehead hat that was painted purple and had gold fringe hanging down (their team colors). He even co-or-di-nated (said in your best John Witherspoon impersonation) his outfit with a fly pair of purple camo pants. It totally rocked!

Lee missed the mall competition and Jamfest because for some reason all cheer competitions are on the same weekend as soccer tournaments. [People really should check my calendar before they schedule these events.] But I’m already getting some costume ideas for the next competition that he can make. Those after Halloween specials are calling our name.

Skyler and Spencer were born on October 4th. So for their first Halloween they were a mere 27 days old. But that doesn’t mean they didn’t dress up. We still had trick-or-treating to do.

In our house Lee stays home to hand out candy while I take the kids out to beg for candy trick-or-treating. So in 1999 Skyler & Spencer chilled in their car seats and watched Daddy give kids candy while Keaton and I prowled the neighborhood for candy.

Keaton, having moved on from his Batman phase, was a Dallas Cowboy football player (Lee’s favorite team since Lee was about 3-years-old). Skyler was a pretty pink pansy. And Spencer was the cutest little peapod ever.

After trick-or-treating we made the rounds to the relatives houses so grandmas, grandpas, aunts and uncles could check out our little garden that was Skyler & Spencer.

We ended the night with some sweet treats. I scoured Keaton’s Halloween bucket for all the Smarties I could find. Keaton stuffed as much candy as he could fit in to his mouth. And Skyler & Spencer enjoyed a refreshing drink of formula. A good Halloween was had by all.