I’ve been having some not so smart moments lately. I blame my asthma. All that Ventolin has gone straight to my brain and killed off some brain cells.

First, my bluetooth headset died a sad, watery death. The kids and I were at the pool (as we are at least three times a week). I took off my headset in preparation for heading in to the pool to hang out with the kids. I lathered each of the kids up with sunscreen and they all ran off. Then I lathered myself up and I realized I had nobody to get my back. So I grabbed my headset (because it was easier than searching through my bag for my phone) and called Lee. He was supposed to be meeting us at the pool and I wanted to know how close he was; if I should wait for him to come slick up my back with sunscreen or if I should just go ahead and perform some contortionist routine to try to reach every inch. I was hoping for the former because there were a lot of people at the pool and god forbid I look like some weirdo trying to save myself from all things hot and crispy.

But Lee didn’t answer. So instead I began my circus routine. And I think I did a very good job, thank you very much.

Then I made my way to the pool. I like to start at the shallow end. Our city pools were all redone in the last few years and they have these zero-entry, um, entrances (like a beach). So I started there, getting my toes wet. Then I moved further in letting my ankles feel the cold water. Eventually my knees were covered. Followed by my hips. I tend to be a total wimp about getting in to the pool. The water is cold and I’m not to thrilled with cold water. The kids just dive right in and they are good for the rest of the afternoon. Not me. I like to ease my way in.

Eventually I made my way over to the kids. By that point I was about armpit deep in the water. We were splashing around. They kept getting out and then diving back in. I was just floating around watching them.

Then I realized…I still had my headset in. Oops. I ripped it off my ear. I hadn’t put my head underwater yet so I was hoping it would be ok. I gave it to Skyler and asked her to run it back to our bag. We’ll just let it dry out and see how it goes. I’m sure it will be fine.

Well it’s been almost a week and the thing is still dead as a doornail. I think I need to come to grips with the fact that my old bluetooth is no more. I’ve been wearing dark clothes in mourning.

If that wasn’t bad enough, I went and lost (one of) my Ventolin inhalers. I’ve been have an asthma “episode” for a couple of weeks now. I had been so good with my asthma. No inflammations in quite some time. I was only using my inhaler when I worked out. I was doing so well my doctor reduced my medication.

And now I can’t breath.

I don’t think it’s due to the reduction in medication though. I think it’s due to the flooding and the fact that Lee and I went “in the zone” and took some pictures. With the windows down. Which totally gave me a headache. It smells that bad. Imagine everything you own covered in sludgy, poopy, oily water…for five days. Yeah, that’s exactly what it smells like.

I’ve been trying to put off going to the doctor because I’m really cheap. I’d have to pay my $15 co-pay not to mention having to take the time to actually call the doctor. And then drive to the doctor. And then sit in the office. (Granted I live about five minutes from my doctor and they always get me right in, but still.)

But my breathing has been getting worse and worse. I’ve been using my peak flow monitor (which measures how much air I can get out) and it’s been, well, not good to put it mildly. It’s gotten to the point where I’m using my inhaler several times a day and I wake up in the middle of the night with coughing fits. (I can’t tell you how much Lee enjoys that.)

Two nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night, reached for my inhaler, took a puff and then placed it on my stomach while I waited the minute you are supposed to take before you take your next puff. Only I’m a really heavy sleeper and I was only half awake to even get that one puff in. So within that minute I fell asleep.

When I woke up the next morning and reached for my inhaler for a little albuterol breakfast, it wasn’t there. I strained my brain trying to figure out when I used it last. I remembered using it the night before but I was already in bed. I’m sure I put it back on the nightstand. Where else would I have put it.

Then I remember the middle of the night hacking. I searched the sheet and blanket for my inhaler. Nothing.

I searched the floor by my bed. Nothing.

What the heck?

I was tired of looking so I headed downstairs to use my “desk inhaler.” (I have inhalers stashed all over the house. I have a purse inhaler, a desk inhaler, a couch inhaler and a nightstand inhaler. I’ve been thinking about adding a kitchen inhaler just to be safe.) Last night I tried to look again because I knew I’d need it in the middle of the night and if I didn’t have one close I’d end up breaking a leg trying to make my way down the stairs in the midst of labored breathing and sleep-depravity. But I still couldn’t find it. Then I got on the floor on all fours, nose running (because it does that when I bend over…still) and looked under the bed. And there it was. Nestled in the carpet halfway under the bed. I’m thinking I must have turned on my side, flung the inhaler against the wall and it flew under the bed.

Hopefully I won’t have to worry about the effects of albuterol brain soon because I finally went to the doctor yesterday. I’m now on the highest doses of Prednisone I’ve ever been on (but don’t worry, I’m taking in my calcium to counteract the bone issues) and I’ve been instructed to stay as far as I can from the flood clean-up (which I have been ever since the picture taking event anyway). So hopefully I’ll be back to my normal intelligent (?!?) self soon.

And I bought a new bluetooth headset to go with my new Blackberry Curve and I’m pretty darn thrilled about them both.

So today is Wednesday and normally we would be enjoying Working Wednesday, but not today. Because today…SURPRISE…it’s moved to a new site. I’m now writing over at Iowa Moms along with a bunch of other wonderful Iowans. Come on over and check it out. I’ll be spilling all about balancing work and family and whatever else pops in to my head. Be sure to go back daily.

Since we aren’t talking about working today let’s talk about what everybody else is talking about; BlogHer. While thousands of women (and a few men) were at BlogHer last year, Mrs. Flinger and I vowed nothing would keep us from the big conference next year. Well here we are at next year and I’m not going. (But Mrs. Flinger is so at least one of us kept up our end of the bargain.) I thought I was ok with my decision not to go this year. But now that everybody is talking about it I’m kicking myself. Decisions are so hard. Be a good mom and spend time with the kids or go to San Francisco and get drunk with a bunch of great bloggers. I think the choice is obvious. And I obviously made the wrong choice.

Oh I kid. (Sort of.) I’m not going to BlogHer because Keaton and Justis are in Texas. At church camp. You know what a basketcase I am when the kids are at church camp. They come home on Saturday. And we have tickets to see High School Musical the play on Saturday night. Justis has been with his mom for the last month. Then he’s in Texas this week. He’ll be home for one night (Saturday night) and then back with him mom for another three weeks. So I figured I’d better stay home so we could all spend time together as a family. I’m such a sucker for family.

But the good news is I’m going to BlogHer next year. (I know I said that last year and here we are. And honestly I’m not making any promises, but I think I’m going next year.) I might be going with my mom. She’s thinking about starting her own geeky blog. About being a Business Analyst. She hasn’t started her blog yet, but she’s already thinking of going to BlogHer with me next year. So I’m holding her to it.

In the meantime I’m following Erika’s “I’m not going to BlogHer” survival guide. I’ll be stalking her on Twitter and I might even call her to see what’s up. Because I must know what’s going on. I wish she would just carry around her laptop and do some streaming video for the full weekend. But I’ll take what I can get. Also, I’ve informed Java Jenn that she needs to drunk dial me to keep me updated. So I should be well informed.

Until then I’ll just be over here crying in my yogurt Cheerios.

Oh for crying out loud. Apparently there is a big controversy over the Disney/Pixar movie Wall-E. I guess some overweight people are upset about the way Wall-E portrays fat people. Give me a break.

If you haven’t seen the movie let me give you a run down. It’s a cute love story between Wall-E, an old robot who was left on Earth to clean up the mess left by people, and Eve, a new robot Wall-E unexpectedly runs in to. The premise of the movie is that people are not taking care of their planet and eventually it gets so bad it can no longer sustain life. Since people can’t live on Earth they are all hanging out in a spaceship. On the spaceship technology takes over and people start to live a very sedentary lifestyle.

Nowhere in the movie did they make fun of fat people. They did not make the people seem like bad people. In fact it was just the opposite. The people were all very nice people. They were just average people who were lured in by the power of technology and getting what they want without truly realizing the consequences. The movie was just showing what could happen if we don’t stop to think about what we are doing to our environment and ourselves.

Hello?!? Are you looking around? Have you seen the obesity epidemic that is going on; especially in the U.S. Part of the epidemic is due to our sedentary lifestyles and our love for all things fast food. When we were kids we didn’t have computers or video games or 500 cable channels. Instead we had bikes to ride, trees to climb and games of tag to win. But kids today are hanging out inside with the butts plastered to a chair in front of some kind of screen. Sound familiar? Yeah, it sounds like the exaggerated lifestyle everybody on the spaceship in the movie in Wall-E is living.

Yes some people gain weight due to medical condition, such as a thyroid issue, or as a side effect of some medication they need to take. But many gain weight because they don’t eat well and they don’t exercise. The movie was just trying to point out that if we don’t take care of ourselves and if we rely to heavily on technology rather than our legs we may end up obese.

People just need to get over themselves and let a kids movie be a kids movie.

What ad agency is Burger King relying on for their current ad campaign? The last few campaigns have been downright disgusting.

There was the Western Whopper which makes you grow a mustache. Who in the hell wants a mustache from eating a burger? That so does not make me want to run right out and get me one of those.

And now they have these infuriating commercials for the Steakhouse burger. Apparently you have to do something exception to be deserving of a Steakhouse burger or else you get slapped or called names. Seriously?!? It’s a fucking hamburger from a fast food joint. It costs what $4.59 when you buy it with a large fry and drink. Give me a break.

I stopped eating at Hardee’s because they gear their advertising towards men. Which would be fine if they didn’t also alienate women in the process. But their advertising made it very clear that they just want big, hungry men to come eat at their restaurant. So I was more than happy to let them have them. I wonder if that’s why many of their restaurants have closed. Coincidence? I think not.

Now Burger King is getting on my damn nerves with their stupid commercials. They aren’t funny. They are just ridiculous. I thought the point of advertising was to convince people to come spend money on your crap. I guess that concept was lost on the fast food chains.

*I blame Ninja Poodles for posting photos of quiche.