You know the saying, “Boys come and go, but friends are forever?” Well what if they aren’t for forever?

I’m not the same person I was in the third grade. Or even in high school. Somewhere along the way I grew up, stopped making fun of people, gossiping behind other’s backs and caring what I wore or looked like. [Which is obvious by the fact that my outfit of choice is now a pair of yoga pants and a sweatshirt and I have been known to venture out in public with no makeup on. *gasp*]

And ten years ago I outgrew my best friend.

It started with a candle party. She hosted a party at her house. And my aunt was the consultant. Of course, my aunt asked me why I wasn’t there. I didn’t even know old friend was having a party.

So I sent her an email and asked her why? I thought my note was nice. I just said something like, “Lisa told me you had a candle party. I was just wondering why I wasn’t invited.” Simple enough. After all I don’t think it’s too much a stretch to expect that one of your best friend’s would invite you to her candle party. It wasn’t the end of the world, but it was a sign that maybe something was wrong.

What I got back was a novel of a bitchy email where she essentially said, “I can invite whoever I want and I didn’t invite you because you are a bitch who never thanked me for sending Keaton a card for his birthday. You’re a shitty friend. Oh and your husband sucks.” Of course, I’m paraphrasing but that was the jist of it.

I was shocked. After high school we had gone our own ways and weren’t very good about keeping in touch, but in the last year we had started to reconnect. And up until her nasty email I had no idea we had any issues. I was completely thrown off guard.

We went back and forth on email a few times where we got increasingly more critical of each other. Here we were almost 25-years-old and still having a juvenile cat fight. Here we were supposedly adults, but instead of talking about the issues, she was instead ignoring me until I had to confront her. And I was fighting back like a child.

The fact of the matter was we were two different people. We had different interest. We had different morals. We grew apart a long time before the candle party/email bitch fight, but were too immature to admit it.

For some reason we often think once we become friends with somebody we have to always be friends. At least until that friend does something big like sleep with your boyfriend or steal from you. You were best friends in high school. Inseparable. When you lost your virginity she was the first person you told. When you had a crush on the cute boy in your chemistry class she was the one who helped you plan how to “accidentally” run in to him in the halls. You spent every waking hour together. And when you weren’t together you wrote each other notes to keep each other informed. Plus she knows enough to blackmail you.

But the fact of the matter is we change. We grow up. And sometimes we outgrow our friends (or they outgrow us, whatever). You know it. She knows it. But neither of you wants to be the first to say it because your worried you’ll hurt each others feelings. You should be able to say, “You know what. We’re different people. We want different things. It’s not you. It’s me. We should just cut our losses and go our separate ways.” But we don’t.

I have a childhood friend who I no longer have anything in common with. We had a great time when we were playing with Barbies or a game of Hide and Seek 25 year ago, but now? Not so much. We are MySpace friends, talk on IM occasionally and sometimes send jokes on email, but I usually struggle to find something to talk to her about. We live in completely different worlds. I’ve gotten to the point where I ignore her on IM. I’ve turned in to a shitty friend. I know I need to just end it. But I’m a huge wimp. And breaking up is hard to do. Relationships are just so much work.

I love, love, love my kids’ long eyelashes. They all have them. It’s something they got from their dad.

And from me they got these super cute freckles. At least Keaton and Skyler got freckles. They are so adorable.

Happy Love Thursday!

Look what Caleb did yesterday in computer lab.

On a side note, I told you my arms were freakishly long. Even the kids notice.

In other news, Caleb lost his second tooth yesterday. The other bottom front tooth. All he wants for Christmas is his two front teeth.

*Of course, I’m only kidding. I love all my kids equally. Just not all on the same days.

Between school, work, and the joy that is parenting a teen who outright refuses to do homework and therefore likely will not graduate high school plus dealing with my health issues (fuck you asthma), I’ve been a bit on edge the last couple of weeks. And by on edge I mean ready to rip your fucking head of just for looking at me. Yeah, I’ve been a lot of fun recently.

So for this week’s Tuesday Tantrum let’s discuss all the things that have pissed me off the last few weeks. Just for fun let’s do it in bullet form. Just because there aren’t enough bullets on this blog. And you should always have bullets.

Disclaimer: This post is rated R for exorbitant ranting and profane language. It is not appropriate for children. Remember, I’m opinionated. Therefore I rant.

• Irrational teens. Teens are crazy. Was I this stupid when I was a teen? Cause oh. my. God. Between my own teens and the teens who leave me comments on Weary Parent I’m starting to think that teens are clinically insane. I know their brains don’t fully develop until they are in their twenties, but does that mean they have to be so damn annoying. This is exactly what my parents meant when they warned, “you just wait until you have your own kids.”
• Stupid drivers. The other day on the interstate I turned on my turn signal, looked at my side mirror, gave a quick peek out of the corner of my eye to check the blind spot, and then moved in to the middle lane. I was more than half way in the lane when the psycho in the far left lane just barged in to the middle lane. Almost hitting me. She didn’t use her signal. She didn’t check her mirror. She didn’t turn her head to make sure there was no car in her blind spot. No she just figured, “I want to be in the middle lane and surely anybody who is already there will slam on their breaks and stop.” Bitch!
• People I work with who cannot park. There are two yellow lines giving you a bit of a guideline as to where you should park. Use them. If that means you have to back up and re-park, then by all means back up and re-park. If you park over the yellow line then be advised that I will purposely slam my truck door in to your door. ‘Cause that will give me a tiny bit of joy after having to work up a sweat as I finagle my way in to the very last parking spot that is such a tight fit because your ass needs to go back to driver’s ed.
• People I go to school with who cannot park. I realize most of you are still youngin’s, but even at just 18 you should at least know better then to leave your car’s ass-end hanging out 2 feet past the end of your parking spot. Do you have any idea how hard it is to resist the temptation to slam my truck right in to the back of your little Ford Escort? I mean it’s all out there in the driveway anyway. Surely any judge would give me a little leeway in that situation.
• Irresponsible users of instant messaging. Do not. I repeat. DO NOT IM me with “will you call me?” You’re the one that wants to talk to me. I don’t even want to talk to you. Why the fuck would I call you. You call me bitch.
• Annoying phone conversations. And while we’re on the phone, absolutely. I mean, ABSOLUTELY do not talk my ear off for a half hour telling me all about your daughter and her pregnant friend and then tell me you really need to let me go because you are soooo busy. First of all, I really don’t give two squats of shit about your daughter or her friend. And second, I definitely could not care any less about how fucking busy you are.

Whew! I feel a little better. Now I’m going to go scour the kitchen cabinets for some alcohol and some chocolate. And I don’t even like chocolate.